Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

TRANSFORMING GUILT to FUN!


Transforming GUILT to FUN



---One day I was kidding around with a couple of the Zen Volunteers. We struck up an interesting conversation. We wondered if we could transform ones response of guilt into a response of fun and/or enjoyment…instead.

---We decided that it has to be a matter of perspective. Why do two folks see the same thing and have two different responses? To one it brings up feelings of guilt while to another it brings a situation that he enjoys.

---Since our past forms the way we respond to things…the thing must represent something that brings guilt to one and happiness to the other. Guilt would seem that we haven’t treated the thing fairly or been treated fairly by the thing. We haven’t been true to it in someway. Its presence denotes that we feel there is something still due it…and it has come to collect. Seeing it reminds us of our imperfection and we are still not ready to make things right. There is probably an underlying fear or discomfort that is present…when it’s around.

---Happiness at the presence of this thing shows us that it doesn’t bring us fear or discomfort. Actually, there is a joy or pleasure involved. NOT having fear allows us to be in the present, more, and we don’t seek ways to be elsewhere. Happiness is in the present!

---The nutshell version seems be that if some things brings guilt to you, you, probably, have a past that was NOT fully and truly dealt with. If something brings joy, etc., and has good feelings attached to it, it, probably, doesn’t make you feel you owe (it) something.




TRANSFORMING GUILTSIZE into FUNSIZE

 
---GUILTY PLEASURES: Most of us have those things that we call our guilty pleasures. They are, usually, things that we do that we really know we shouldn’t indulge in…but, for some reason or other we find that we dabble. ‘’Is the payback worth the moment of pleasure that occurs when we do what we, in our heart-of-hearts, know we shouldn’t?’’

---Let’s look at this a little more closely. From past experience we are basically assured of the outcome. We know that unless we have made certain changes about this product and NO longer feel guilty in terms of its impact on us…we will feel guilty.

---What are these certain changes? If we made changes to our value system, beliefs and attitude…we may have a different perspective on this product. Many of us are beginning to wake up and realize that the value system they are living with is not their own. It was instilled into us lock, stock and barrel without our having much say as to what is going on? We see many others having questions about the very things that concern us.

---After we have scrutinized the thing that causes us to feel guilty and to see why this thing has the affect it does, we are then able to reassess our relationship to it. We can make our decision according to whether we want this in our life or not. We should ALL do our own thinking and not allow others to do it for us.

---This scrutinizing of things that you do without knowing why…is one of the big ones that we ALL find ourselves in. We each have many things that are placed knowingly or unknowingly that affect the decisions that we make. Many are there to protect us, but some placed there by very paranoid people that sees everyone…as the enemy. Much was placed there out of ignorance that maybe was necessary for a short-term affect that has long-term affects on your behavior.

---Some of what you find inside may be legitimate. Truthfully, at some point…I have to admit that I am, probably, NOT ‘’the handsomest boy in the whole wide world.'' But…when my mother told me this, who and what was I to question it. I couldn’t even talk…yet.


 
(Dr. V. Sweet + Paul H.)

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