---Self-Actualization is term coined by Abraham Maslow. In my estimation, Leo, pictured above, does a good job of explaining the subject.
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Thursday, September 6, 2018
---Some folks have asked me to return to the ‘’WEST SIDE STORY’’ analogy. They feel that there is more to be said. The point to it all is the idea that for those DEPRIVED of love, support, being appreciated and valued…usually, end up living a life of DEPRAVITY. We, also, tried to define DEPRAVITY as acting negative in any sense at all, as it leads down the negative path. Those DEPRIVED of their basic human needs of love, support, being appreciated and/or valued tend to lead a life full of negativity. The RIGHT TOOL is DON'T DEPRIVE PEOPLE of this HUMAN NEED. It works much, much better for everyone...INCLUDING YOURSELF!
---It reminds me of my dad in the 1960's and 70's, warning about never trying to run the car on cheap gas. He said it will ping and eventually ruin the engine. Well, to save money, you use cheap gasoline. Lo and behold…he was right. You learn this lesson when the car is on the lift and the mechanic asks you if you have been using cheap gas? You have been caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
---ADDICTION works like this. We put the wrong items in the place that can only be filled by authentic things like love, being appreciated, etc. We run the engine on cheap gasoline that will eventually break down. We, also, find that it is NOT so easy to make the switch to a different budget. We are used to running our life with the extra money we were getting by buying the cheap gas. We have to now make ends meet on less money. We relied on cheap gas for so long. Now…it physically hurts the car to use it. The fact that it isn’t really the correct thing to use has revealed itself. The real need rears its’ head as it always does and you have found this out while using the cheap gas. At first it sort of worked, but NO MORE. It needs REAL GAS...NOT CHEAP GAS...to be satisfied. That area has been DEPRIVED for years. DEPRAVED actions (negativity) are the norm at this point. If the needs had been met right away, the path chosen for the life of the engine would have based on having the needs being met instead of the DEPRAVITY (negativity) based of that area never being properly dealt with.
---The quickest and the best way to get your needs met is to be honest with what you are doing. Using the wrong gasoline will always betray you eventually. To feel love, be loving. Be honest. Be proactive. Don’t just sit and complain how nobody cares about you. Spring for better gasoline as it will actually be the best buy in the long run. Be Honest and Be Well.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
DEPRIVED and/or DEPRAVED
---We may remember the famous line from the musical ‘’WEST SIDE STORY’’ – ‘’He Is DEPRAVED because He Is DEPRIVED!’’ I THINK these words are very true and have weighed heavily on our society for a longtime. And there seems NO LET UP IN SIGHT. It seems to only be getting worse. We can reverse it, but it is going to involve meeting the needs that are still are being deprived to this day.
---Through the work of Abraham Maslow and others we can see that there is a basic human need of being loved and supported. We know that every individual does better when he is appreciated and valued. Despite his/her ability. When these needs are in place and met, the individual usually returns this behavior with positive behavior of his own. He returns affection and security with security and affection.
---When people are deprived of their basic needs of being loved, appreciated and valued…they act in some negative anti-social way that resembles depravity. If your basic needs for love and appreciation are met you will tend to treat others warmly and well with a positive spirit. If you are deprived of these basic needs you are probably looking for an outlet for this negative energy.
---POSITIVE ENERGY IS SHARED BY THOSE WHO ARE NOT DEPRIVED of These basic human needs of love, support, being valued and appreciated.
---NEGATIVE ENERGY IS SHARED BY THOSE WHO ARE DEPRIVED of these basic human needs of love, support, being valued and appreciated.
THIS APPLIES TO YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU MAY FALL IN THE HIERARCHY.
BEING KIND IS A GOOD WAY TO BEGIN REVERSING IT!
BEING KIND IS A GOOD WAY TO BEGIN REVERSING IT!
Friday, August 17, 2018
Monday, August 13, 2018
---And, then she stated that she likes the way they argue. I immediately asked what she meant by that. She saId that most of the guys she had known had blown up and got very defensive every time she started to speak her truth and explain the way she saw the relationship. They would tell her directly how wrong she was. She said that they did not physically retaliate HOWEVER...it was nevertheless ''very painful.'' She prefers the way her and her new boyfriend...disagree! They discuss. They don't argue. There is NO YELLING. It's much better...AND more productive.
---I told her that this is the vision I have of many of the people here at the hospital. Residents and Staff, alike. This is also why I believe that PEOPLE, in general, FEEL LIKE THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! AND, it is at EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONs. Many people get such negative feedback when they express their truth and how they see things. They are told that it sounds stupid or even worse. Sometimes they are told they are stupid or even worse. Folks are held in check by one another and NOT encouraged to truthfully express how they feel. Someone doesn’t like it and it stops the process right away. Usually by yelling or an expletive or some sort of way. Most people seem to be in a semi-constipated holding pattern needing to express how they really feel.
---One can easily see that many folks at the hospital have never properly learned to express themselves. They start yelling right away as I'm sure they were taught. Defensiveness seems to run the show. To me...I think that it is very important to learn to express yourself. BUT, it is, also, important to know the way that you feel about things so, you know what to express. Otherwise, it will just be noise!
---Whether the relationship is ideal or not, it sounds that the arguing is on a better level than when it was all about the fear of speaking the truth. As we have mentioned, trial and error is how we learn. We hone how we feel by whittling away at the truth. When we are afraid to speak our mind at the beginning...there seems to be an error right out of the gate.
---You can learn that it is possible to express your feelings without name calling, screaming and swearing. This just happens to be the way that many think that it is supposed to be. A Discussion to many folks is another word for Argument, because that is what they know. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. There are other, more civil ways, to talk things over that allows both sides to express how they feel about the issue. It isn’t always a case of the most forceful who wins the argument. BRAWN OVER BRAIN! Usually, the winner is the one whose argument makes the most sense. But how about when both sides express their feelings (a constipated situation is avoided) and a compromise is reached meeting the needs of all parties. ALL PARTIES ARE HAPPY! Now…that sounds good. Be Well.