Pleasure, Pain, Fear
---When I was in my twenties, I used to read a lot of J. Krishnamurti. He would speak of FEAR very much. That is because he saw fear as being the true opposite to LOVE. NOT HATE...but, FEAR. He said that people would experience hatred, because they had some kind of fear for whatever it may be that they hated...AND, it was driving the boat. He, also, believed, as many did, that FEAR dissipated when one understood whatever it was that caused the FEAR. He thought once fear was understood you were well on your way to ''getting'' what life + living were ALL about.
---He spoke of the fact that man tended to seek pleasure and avoid pain...AND that dynamic INCREASES FEAR. Pleasure has an elusive quality to it and is hardly ever the same twice in a row. One seeking pleasure sets himself to easily become addicted to whatever he uses to avoid pain. He becomes desperate in his pursuit of pleasure and avoidance and gets further from facing the original pain. He finds himself on the other side of it, feeling pain, NOW...from those very things that once brought pleasure.
---What is this PAIN that he keeps avoiding? It masks itself and shows it is still there...in any number of ways. BUT...it can be traced as the source of all pain. It is the pain of facing oneself. There are many books that address this – some good, some bad. Why it is so painful is because of the embarrassment involved. TOUGHNESS INCREASES WHEN WE FACE OUR EMBARRASSMENTS.
---To embark on this field we have to admit (and, maybe for the first time) that we are not perfect. I'm not speaking of some religious thing where we are really all perfect...I'm talking about facing the fact that maybe our behavior has ALWAYS NOT been perfect and we caused a lot of mayhem in our quest to find ourselves. We are becoming more tolerant in our judgments (at least some of us) than we had been. BUT...facing ourselves and becoming comfortable with our past is a process that gets better with time.
---It will come down to the ability to NOT save face. We have a very difficult time telling the truth in this area. As I have said before, ''we ALL hate to look bad, even if it is only to our own self.'' Be Well.