Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Saturday, November 28, 2015


Pleasure, Pain, Fear
 ---When I was in my twenties, I used to read a lot of J. Krishnamurti. He would speak of FEAR very much. That is because he saw fear as being the true opposite to LOVE. NOT HATE...but, FEAR. He said that people would experience hatred, because they had some kind of fear for whatever it may be that they hated...AND, it was driving the boat. He, also, believed, as many did, that FEAR dissipated when one understood whatever it was that caused the FEAR. He thought once fear was understood you were well on your way to ''getting'' what life + living were ALL about.
---He spoke of the fact that man tended to seek pleasure and avoid pain...AND that dynamic INCREASES FEAR. Pleasure has an elusive quality to it and is hardly ever the same twice in a row. One seeking pleasure sets himself to easily become addicted to whatever he uses to avoid pain. He becomes desperate in his pursuit of pleasure and avoidance and gets further from facing the original pain. He finds himself on the other side of it, feeling pain, NOW...from those very things that once brought pleasure.

---What is this PAIN that he keeps avoiding? It masks itself and shows it is still any number of ways. can be traced as the source of all pain. It is the pain of facing oneself. There are many books that address this – some good, some bad. Why it is so painful is because of the embarrassment involved. TOUGHNESS INCREASES WHEN WE FACE OUR EMBARRASSMENTS.

---To embark on this field we have to admit (and, maybe for the first time) that we are not perfect. I'm not speaking of some religious thing where we are really all perfect...I'm talking about facing the fact that maybe our behavior has ALWAYS NOT been perfect and we caused a lot of mayhem in our quest to find ourselves. We are becoming more tolerant in our judgments (at least some of us) than we had been. BUT...facing ourselves and becoming comfortable with our past is a process that gets better with time.

---It will come down to the ability to NOT save face. We have a very difficult time telling the truth in this area. As I have said before, ''we ALL hate to look bad, even if it is only to our own self.'' Be Well.



Sunday, November 22, 2015


Decisions FOR or Decisions WITH

---There once were two brothers, who were very different. The big difference that was quite noticeable was that one of the brothers had decisions made for him, for the most part...while the other brother made his own decisions, for the most part.

---The brother who had his decisions all made for him never seemed to develop the ability to make decisions. When left to his own devices, which wasn't often, the poor guy wouldn't know what to do. If the truth be told...he did NOT know himself very well. The repercussions of decisions he made, which weren't many, made many people angry, also.

---The brother who made his own decisions was much more self-possessed and, through trial and error, learned what worked and what didn't. He easily took responsibility for decisions he made, and, if truth be told, most were sound, anyway.

---The brother who made decisions was easier to work with as giving his opinion was an easy thing to do. The brother who did not make decisions, was easily led. He was a sheep in need of a shepherd.

---If we truly are to rehabilitate people, I think that it is extremely valuable to pay attention to the decision-making skills of people we are making well. As would be with any member of the PANE CLINIC...we must be sure that a rehabilitated person is seeing with clarity. With a clearer vision, he is, now, ready and equipped with the tools to make decisions that are solid and building of a brighter future. 

---Those rehabbed in this way learn to make good decisions and learn ways that prevent him from easily being sucked back into a life of disease, illness, pain and hopelessness. Their lives may improve and then may positively affect many lives...accordingly. Be Well.


PANE CLINIC - To clear up ones vision and visibility. To see oneself better and to ultimately increase self-knowledge.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


---I am a supporter of the work of Dr. Lissa Rankin. This short YOUTUBE (a little over a minute) may lead you to her other YOUTUBEs...again, at the very least.

Friday, November 13, 2015

WHY WE ARE NOT KIND...all-the-time!


 ---My nurse says, ‘’you and others have written many articles with very compelling reasons to be kind. They make me ask the question - If kindness is such a good thing, why aren’t we kind more often? What prevents us from being kind?’’

---A good way to ask the question is this, ‘’if we know kindness + love to be unifying and that we seem to be hardwired for them. And, we know that life works better when we realize that we are on the same team. What keeps us from doing things that cause this oneness to happen? Why aren’t we naturally loving + kind? Why do we prevent this from happening in a big way?''

---Well…we are NATURALLY loving + kind. But…we have behaviors and attitudes that keep loving and kindness from coming through. We have values, attitudes and behaviors that block the loving and kindness. Our own ego gets in the way and wants to WIN. (SAVING FACE!) We want to be the best or at least better than everyone else or even a designated few that we may have problems with - to assure ourselves that we are OKAY. (I am NOT saying that it is bad to come in first is just BE AWARE that you are not defined by that. It is still better and more stress free to be doing our best than worrying about always being the best.) As a good example for what I the POLITICAL DEBATES that are happening in our country. Watch The potential candidates 2015...DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONs!

---This is NOT new. Lao-Tzu even talked about it thousands of years ago. Instead of being loving and kind with/to each other…we COMPETE and COMPARE ourselves with/to each other. That is the main problem.

---We check and see how well that we’re doing in comparison to how others are doing. If we are doing better than so-and-so, then it, somehow, proves how well we are doing. If someone is achieving TOO much than we berate his character until WE feel more comfortable with it ALL.

---That is really the long-and-short of it. We are busy NOT being sure how we’re doing, so we check to see how others are doing. We COMPETE and COMPARE and get trophies, etc., (Gold, Silver and Bronze) as opposed to just doing our best. That is why we have redefined winning. It is NOT about being the best. It is much more about doing our best. Finding our own pace is more the target. NOT showing everyone how good we are compared to them. Let us NOT be juiced by the failures of others. Let’s be juiced by everyone doing his best. REMEMBER: It is more important to do your best…than to be the best! If folks were NOT so concerned with how they, themselves, were doing in comparison to everyone else, we would ALL be winners DOING OUR BEST! Honestly, we’d be a much happier people. Be Well.


Saturday, November 7, 2015


The ''LEFT-HAND'' Situation

---To state more clearly and to answer why this particular essay is so
important in my own life and why I think it is important to ALL of us. It is an example in my own experience of how one goes from the ''darkness'' into the ''light.'' Well placed Affirmation along the way gave me what I needed to continue. I know that this will work in your life, too!

---I was born with my left-hand missing four fingers. REMEMBER: my missing fingers represent whatever it may be that you, yourself, has yet to accept. Believe me, through much experience, I'll tell you that we are much in the same boat in this! The stages I went through toward Acceptance are very much the same as Kubler-Ross' stages of accepting situations in our lives. She, herself, came upon these as she was looking into how we ''grieve.''
DENIAL - Keeping my hand in my pocket and not letting others or anyone see or experience the real me. It seemed easier, but I wasn't being honest with myself and that is very important.

ANGER - Came about in the form that I should be able to show my hand, but I just couldn't.

BARGAINING - ''If God will grow my fingers than...'' I became a bit irrational at times because it would keep me from having to face the reality of having the missing fingers. This stage taught me much as I could see that I had some growing and learning to do. My ideas of ''God'' greatly matured here.

DESPAIR - I realized that there was NOTHING I could do to change my situation-except Change My Attitude. Growth was happening, Acceptance was taking place, but I felt very helpless. I needed to - TRUST that it was OKAY to be me. I had to let go of the way I thought it was supposed to be, and actually get on with things. It was one of the most painful situations I ever had to face, but it carried great rewards with it. I was closer to being the person I was born to be. It was in this time - frame of my life that I became a serious candidate for joining the Jesuit Priesthood. This was in the late 1970's.
---A word to the wise in all of this. It is a PROCESS and one will HAVE to allow some time to embody what is going on with oneself. Take it slow and don't try to force anything. It is a natural growth process so all we have to do is just be honest with ourselves each step of the journey we are on. We will grow into whatever we are to gain from all this. Be good to yourself and remember...the simpler the better.

ACCEPTANCE - Gradually you find yourself NOT hiding your hand, or whatever it might be, in your ''pocket'' or anywhere else for that matter. In fact, your attitude can turn so much that you forget that at one time it was even an issue. It is the process where suddenly you can see that which you thought to be a ''Curse,'' is really a ''Blessing.'' Be Well.

Most of this was written in 2005 or so!

(Picture By Lauren S.)

Monday, November 2, 2015



---On HALLOWEEN morning I got to talking with one of the nurses. I asked why she didn't wear a costume? Her answer was that it takes her TOO long to go through all that. We have always had a pretty good I said, ''I can probably shed some light on why it takes you so long.''

---She looked at me with a look that seemed to want to hear more of what I had to say. I said, ''it gets to where you're so busy trying to apply it so perfectly that it becomes a real chore to do. You want it to be so perfect that when folks judge you for wearing it, it actually defies judgment ( know of the hurtful judgment, because, it has quietly helped you come undone in the past.'') Then I said, ''that's very common.'' Many, many people suffer from self-consciousness.

---It is saving face and we are never being spontaneous enough to do what we really want. We are afraid to appear wrong and foolish...and struggle to withstand the judgment of others. We may be exposed and found out where others see/know how wrong we actually may be. (And, their response will reveal that...NO matter how silent or loud it is.) WE HATE TO APPEAR WRONG! We have intertwined being even a little wrong with our TOTAL self worth - somehow.

---Until we loosen up and realize that it is alright to be wrong,   sometimes, and to be ourselves, always...we ALL seem to go through this struggle – TO FIND OURSELVES or TO BE OURSELVES. It really is okay to be silly and to be wrong...but, we protect these very diligently. But...if the truth be told at those times that our defenses aren't as strong as usual... we, probably, liked it. We may have really liked it. You may have had an experience near the one I describe, drugging and drinking...BUT, then have the drug and drink with which to deal. Don't take yourself so seriously AND you'll do yourselves a tremendous favor. Take it from one who has been there. There is quite a difference from NOT BEING YOURSELF and BEING YOURSELF.

---Our normal look is just one of the many that we could be this very moment! may be the one that best expresses who/what we are at the present time given our present abilities to know and withstand the pressures of the society in which we live. In this light...again, are we being and living at our best? Are we satisfied? Are we happy? Are we living up to our own potential? Remember that if we still blame others for our shows us that we have more learning and growing to do. Be Well!

REMEMBER: This is a draft and may be futzed with a bit.