Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Questions 11 - 15 To Ask To Draw People Out

11. Why did you choose that profession?

The story of how someone landed in a particular profession opens the door to learning a lot about a person and their motivations, interests, education, and ambitions. We spend most of our days working, so the answer to this question also reveals how a person chooses to define their lives.

12. How do you spend your free time?

This is a great follow-up question to the previous question. It rounds out the picture of how this person has created his or her life and what hobbies, interests, and obligations they have created for themselves.

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do?

This is a fun question that reveals so much about a person and their attitudes about money, work, and life passion. Would they leave their job? Buy their dream home? Do something altruistic? Would they be happy about having a lot of money or want to avoid it?

14. Who do you most admire in life?

This is a great question to learn more about the kind of person someone wants to emulate. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want in ourselves. This will tell you a lot about the true character of a person.

15. What are your top three favorite books and why?

Sharing favorite books opens the door for interesting conversation and finding common ground between you. It gives you and the other person a chance to learn something new and potentially to understand a new perspective or interest you haven't pursued.

Thursday, September 14, 2017



Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Questions 6 - 10 To Ask To Draw People Out

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

This question not only allows you to discuss and share travel experiences, but also it affords insights into the other person's interests, personality, and sense of adventure.

7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?

This question really makes people think. We are so attached to our possessions, but truthfully there are only a few that matter deeply to us. When people are forced to define those few, it gives insight into what they value most.

8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?

Teachers can play a pivotal role in helping us develop a love of learning, discover our life passions, and draw out our innate skills. Sometimes they are people who inspire us or who simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. What do you want your tombstone to say?

Although this is a morbid question, it does go right to the heart of what we want for ourselves. At the end of our lives, how do we want to be remembered and what legacy do we want to leave?

10. What was one of your most defining moments in life?

This is a great question to invite sharing on a deeper and more vulnerable level. Often defining moments come during profound life transitions like death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times we are called to make a huge mental, physical, or emotional shift.

Friday, September 8, 2017

1 - 5 Questions To Ask That Draw People Out


---One of the more difficult things that I find to do is to, sometimes, break the ice. I’m sure my own shyness plays right into it. I’ve done some research and found these questions to get things started at those times I can’t think of what to say. I notice that there is an open-ended quality to these questions that leaves plenty of room to expand and continue as one sees fit. Good luck with them if you try them. Remember that the purpose is to get to know someone and to learn more about his/her life!

1. What is your best childhood memory?
This question always makes people smile and often leads to a humorous or poignant exchange about family, travel, holidays and traditions, hopes and dreams, and friendship. You learn a lot about someone when they share aspects of their childhood.

2. If you had a chance for a ‘’do-over’’ in life, what would you do differently?

This question gives insight into a person's state of mind about who they are, their vulnerabilities, and their hopes and dreams. Often sharing regrets or unmet desires opens doors to considering new possibilities or the confidence to make needed change.

3. How did the two of you meet?

This is a great question to ask a couple. Or, you can ask when did you get interested in 'such+such.' Quite often sharing the story draws them together in a mutual happy memory, or just provides a happy memory. It gives them a reason to reconnect and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact together as a couple, or why this certain thing is his/her hobby?

4. What do you feel most proud of?

This question makes people feel you are really interested in them and who they are. Everyone wants to feel accomplished and proud, and we all want an opportunity to share our successes without looking like a braggart. The answers give you great insight into what the person values most in life.

5. What is your favorite music?

The music we enjoy helps define us and reflects the dreams and attitudes of our generation. What we listen to reflects what speaks to our souls. It reveals who we are and what we believe — in an illuminating and honest way that's often hard to put into words.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Wednesday, August 30, 2017



---This is what I was trying to get at in my essay. There is much material here.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017



---Under the LEAN management technique developed by Toyota we are asked to add value and minimize waste. We have to first and foremost be sure that we VALUE the customer we have. If we are to apply the LEAN management technique to the hospital, we have to be sure we VALUE the resident/patient to begin the process.

---This may NOT be as easy as it seems because I really feel that this has been the problem all along. We really don’t value the resident/patient. Before anyone gets bent out of shape and finds that statement completely outrageous...let’s take a good look at this.

---Often the resident/patient sees himself as having little value. It has been something handed to him by his/her parents or guardians who were unable to encourage him/her properly. They, themselves, were victimized and mishandled by well-meaning folks who really had NO CLUE how to do this either. Since the dawn of time, we (this includes me, also) have been a bunch of clueless people NOT knowing how to value one another. Many are in this same boat...staff and resident, alike (as well as many in the population.) Even though we may want to, it is difficult to assign who is at fault and should be blamed for all this. That is why blame does not get us anywhere in the long run. Instead of looking for someone to blame, we'd do much better working on the remedy.

---Another thing that the resident/patient does (sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly) is he/she defies being liked, loved or accepted by being unlikable, unlovable or unacceptable. Through a contrariness, he becomes exactly what you don’t like so as to challenge you or to prove a point, etc. At least he/she is getting some attention (and this may be more than he has ever gotten for anything else he has ever tried in his entire life.) Being a resident/patient finds that some find satisfaction in playing and being the/a lost cause. They would rather suffer for their rightness that to give in and join. I, myself, have spent some time in this boat in my younger days. ‘’Being TOO complicated for anyone to figure out.’’ When real acceptance enters the mix, that's when we find things changing.

---This is what works for me now, and maybe the saving grace in the whole thing. It is in knowing that this statement is true - ‘’We ALL have VALUE but ALL DON’T REALIZE THIS, YET.’’ This statement is as true for you as it is for me. And it is true for everyone you meet or never meet. It is in knowing that the truth is ‘’there are NO accidents,’’ or ‘’there are NO mistakes. The universe doesn’t make junk or there really is NO litter, all is recyclable...eventually.'’ My struggles to accept my left-hand taught me much of this. Perspective makes ALL the difference.

---We ALL have realizations of this VALUE in varying amounts and it behooves us ALL to help to identify this in each other. When we appreciate anything or anyone, we do this. Remember: we are ALL in this together!

---We see that we give value to things when we value them. Just as we give love to things we love. A fact that is NOT to be taken lightly. This goes for appreciation, acceptance, understanding, etc., too.  Be Well.

---I know that it doesn't exactly mean this, but I couldn't resist!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Friday, August 4, 2017



Friday, July 28, 2017

Saturday, July 22, 2017



---An addiction term that means one has lost most of what he has. And, he is, probably, using more of the substance that he has gotten him/herself addicted to. And, there is a good chance that the addiction will probably cause his/her death. It is the epitome of a ‘damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ situation. One is nearing the point of either cleaning up the act or cashing it in. Something, usually, has to be done at this point.

---A Rock Bottom that I relate to is the one where one realizes that one is helpless to make any positive gain to the dilemma that one is involved with. And, one is well aware that pursuing the avenue one is on just makes things worse. All one can do is to either increase the amount of addictive substance to further pursue the elusory idea that using more of the substance will bring relief while in all actuality it is working to make things more unbearable. Or, one can finally admit one needs help. When this choice is presented, let's hope that he chooses to get help. (We ALL need help, at times. Why we have made such a problem out of making mistakes and asking for help, I do NOT know. Do we try to fool others into thinking we're perfect? Are we so fragile that if we are seen imperfect - we can't stand it?) 

---This is Terry Becker Story all over again. In the story, Terry was ready to cash it in. A bedsore she had got so out of hand that it would have been deadly. It needed attention. Over time and with the treating of the condition right, the healing takes place. Because of the way the universe is setup, the viriditas works and wounds/cuts will heal if allowed. The choice to work with the healing instead of her living life making things worse and opposing the healing has made a big difference. Improvements are made and the problem is lessening. Things increasingly get better. Reaching a ROCK BOTTOM has turned a tide.

---Rock Bottom is usually the condition where choice has become very limited if it exists at all. There is very little foundation as one is spiraling and one is just usually hunting for the substance of his addiction to deal with the way his life has become. Ones life has come down to a certain hellishness that provides only short-term relief when a now much larger amount of the substance is needed, scored. The substance runs his life and since one has burned most of the legal means to acquire money, out-and-out stealing has now become something new that he does. He is getting closer to living in ROCK BOTTOM and is beginning to realize that the shred of denial he is holding onto won't sustain his behavior any longer. 

---One has hit ROCK BOTTOM. We have now made the decision NOT to ANYMORE go along the route that only brings griefOne admits that he is helpless to the substance that he is using. Though the path is not always easy, it may get downright difficult. But, it pays dividends - eventually. You may have some really bad times in this and feel you can’t make it…but YOU CAN. One needs a better, more positive way of seeing the self. One begins to realize that he/she is good enough and can make it. Staying true to this newness is important + staying clean is especially important. These can be crucial times. Get HELP if it is needed. At present there is plenty of it. (The strange thing to all-of-this is that after one can truly rebuild. It is a process, but could be one of the most real adventures that one has ever been on. Life has now taken on a new quality. A part of you that was unconscious has now burned away. One has a first-hand knowledge of if things don't kill you, they can serve to make you stronger.) Be Well.

Saturday, July 15, 2017


(Going from a FIXED to a

Rescued from the streets
He learned many survival techniques
That won’t fly with peers possessing less chaotic skills
To get their needs met

After a period of normalization
Where EASE is introduced
Our friend stops devising ways to
Get his needs and preferences met
And, now has confidence and trust restored

Someone has LISTENED,
He has become a PLAYER in the GAME
Someone that he respects
Has turned the tables on him
He is NOW respected, ALSO!

His life has been changed
He has befriended his Goliath!
He’s able to stand ALONE (NOT lonely)
AND, he NOW KNOWs that 

Wednesday, July 12, 2017



I woke up today feeling like a big old joke
Knowing I won’t succeed rather I’ll just choke
Because I wasn’t born smart just like the rest of the crew
My brain’s stuck as it is like a giraffe in a zoo

There’s NO use trying, my talents are zip
I don’t try I’m NOT even close to equipped
Like David, or Katy or Trinity, too
They got the brains there so smart I want to be in their shoes

That’s right not (Couldn’tGetThis) we got a FIXED MINDSET 
vote for the other team if you’re making a bet
 because we don’t know how to take stuff into our brains
We give up because there is nothing to gain

That’s insane so you’re saying just to give up
You are NOT even trying
The only reason that we rock is because we are READY to FLY
We make mistakes, take chances and often we fail
That lights up the brain enlarges it as big as a whale

Not quite, but, seriously, that’s what it takes
The only way to get better is by making mistakes
Now you can sit there feeling bad looking at your situation
Feeling like you got a raw deal soaking in all that frustration

In the end it’s always only up to you, you make the choice you got the voice - so here, have my shoes!
Walk in them, see how they feel
They’re dirty, dusty heels are totally healed -


That’s right, that’s right we got a growth mindset
Vote for us every time when you are making a bet
Because if you’re working hard you can accomplish anything
You never hit a ball if you never even swing

What’s up Einstein you’re a place to be
Let’s say I made mistakes along the way 
But I kept growing everyday

Nice to meet you everybody I’m Joan of Arc
I saved France from invasion and I’m as tough as a shark
When the going gets rough you got to get tougher
If you don’t try harder then you will only suffer

Well hello there excuse me yes my name is BILL GATES
I created Microsoft and I’m worth 81.6 billion dollars and made lots of mistakes!
I learned early in life that it is all about the mindset
And that I never forget!

Green’s my friend my name is Sacagawea
I guided Lewis and Clark and came up with many ideas
Along the way we had a couple wrong turns
In the end we grow when we’re wrong we learn

That’s right, that’s right we got a GROWTH MINDSET
Vote for us every time when you’re making a bet
Because, if you’re working hard you can accomplish anything-
But, you will never hit the ball if you never even swing

(Repeat Last Stanza and Out!)

---I had a certain difficulty hearing all the words. I'll make changes if I hear them better.

Friday, July 7, 2017


Brandon McMillan - Lucky Dog Ranch

The celebrity dog trainer and Emmy-winning star of the CBS show Lucky Dog shares his training system to transform any dog - from spoiled purebred puppy to shelter-shocked rescue - into a model companion in just seven days.

Each week on Lucky Dog, Brandon McMillan rescues an untrained, unwanted, "unadoptable" shelter dog. In the days that follow, the dog undergoes a miraculous transformation as it learns to trust McMillan, master his 7 Common Commands, and overcome its behavior problems - ultimately becoming a well-mannered pet or even a service dog. With his labor of love complete, McMillan unites each dog with a forever family. Now, in his first book, McMillan shares the knowledge he has gained working with thousands of dogs of every breed and personality to help listeners turn their own pets into well-trained Lucky Dog graduates.

---The STORY of GROOT!



Lucky Dog Lessons begins with the basics - building trust, establishing focus and control, and mastering training techniques. From there McMillan explains his playful, careful, and kind approach to training the 7 Common Commands he teaches every dog: sit, stay, down, come, off, heel, and no.


Next McMillan provides solutions to common canine behavior problems, including house training issues, door dashing, chewing, barking, and mealtime misbehaviors. Lucky Dog Lessons includes easy-to-follow steps, illustrative examples, and tried-and-true tips and tricks to demonstrate each technique. Throughout the book McMillan shares inspiring stories about his favorite students and gives fans a behind-the-scenes look at the show.

Brandon McMillan believes that no dog is beyond saving, and the loving, positive, successful methods he offers will work wonders with even the most challenging dog. Create the happy pet family you want with Lucky Dog Lessons.

---I watch this show almost every Saturday morning. Brandon has me convinced that most dogs (as well as people) are able to learn a copacetic behavior that works for both the owner and the dog. If no actual damage exists to the brain, pretty much all are teachable. Positive reinforcement can work wonders if one has a handle on what he is doing. The teacher must know his subject and be aware of how to work with his present student. Be Well!


---I believe that most things are teachable...if done correctly!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017


Victoria Sweet Realization
(from the book)

---There was a patient at onetime who was dying of cancer. She actually had a tumor where the eye once was. Though, not a patient of Dr. Sweet, the woman wanted to speak to her about something important. Dr. Sweet had trepidation's, but went to the bed despite it all.

---With ALL the woman had to talk about, she spoke of one thing. She, basically, hadn’t spoken to the doctor before this. She leaned in and the woman said, ‘’I want to talk about the food.’’ And, another concern the patient had was if she could get ''eyeglasses for her 'good' eye so that she could read again?''

---The accompanying realization was the beginning of the doctor realizing that, after-a-time, residents/patients still are most times concerned with things they have control of and have made a certain peace with some of the larger issues that Dr. Sweet thought was the problem. Many times it is the small things that are the problems. Big and small were now issues that were very different animals to both.

This is a HUGE point of contention! ---I have had much the same experience. And I think that others may relate, also. The priorities change. Staff cannot understand why residents think that such-a-small-issue is the issue…when, clearly, to them, there is so much to deal with. It must be such-and-such. This is HUGE point of contention. I feel that a very basic point of difference comes when a staff person projects what the resident is thinking/feeling. The staff puts his/her own biases right in the way. Be Well.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Sunday, June 4, 2017



---I came upon these great MIGHTY NURSE cartoons a couple of weeks ago. I think they are very poignant. I hope that you find that they capture a certain segment of the life of a nurse and enjoy them as much as I do. If you are interested in seeing more of their merchandise - GOOGLE mighty nurse images. Be Well.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017


What Needs To Be Heard?

---People ask what kinds of things do people carry with them that needs to be heard? What are the things that folks carry that need to be reckoned with? They are usually negative experiences that happened in childhood that they/we were NOT able to really deal with. Or, it could be anything that gets in the way of expressing ourselves as we want.

---As we see a bird or a bee go from flower to flower we see that we should be able to go from situation to situation with the same type of freedom. BUT…when many here ventured out to go from flower (situation) to flower (situation,) many of us weren’t prepared for what we encountered. Many of us met with adversity and were deflated during the experience. We felt worthless or discouraged and vowed that we would never try that again. Many have lived under the guise that if one doesn’t try at least one doesn’t fail.

---We see the flower to be a good match for the bee and/or bird. Though situations do exist that rival the bird, bee and flower...many do NOT. And...though the situations are there to teach us our lessons, we may find ourselves reeling in the process at times. Eventually, we should end up with the bee, bird and flower situation...but we sometimes find we may have a heap of learning to do along the way before we get there.

---Some are busy telling us the things that we can NOT do. That is when the power of YET comes in handy. Most things that we are told we can NOT do changes very suddenly when we add YET to the statement. If the truth be told we are told something that we can NOT do...YET! Give us some time with it to apply some necessary effort to it and we are now prepared to meet the challenge.

---What needs to be heard is all the negativity and lack of encouragement to turn the curses of those experiences into blessings. Instead of being beaten down completely by all that happened, we pick ourselves up, learn from the experience and plunge ever so vigilantly to our goal into the same line again and again...getting closer and closer to a touchdown. Somehow we are driven to continue. To be encouraged to achieve and accomplish something that one feels has value, can be a wonderful thing. What needs to be heard are all the things that does NOT allow one to experience a freedom to grow and appreciate. If one has never had these things in his/her life, one may not know what I’m even talking about. One realizes that the line that one has been plunging into is made up of ALL the discouragements and negativity that have beaten us down in the first place.

---What Needs To Be Heard -

In General - II

---I worked as a counselor in my life and though we each have a unique story unto ourselves…one can see patterns that do emerge. When someone tells his story it doesn’t take very long until he begins to reveal how he sees things. If one listens intently, one quickly gets a sense of the person whose talking. And, generally, eventually one can tell if he/she is on the same page(s) or not.

---If one speaks with someone long enough It doesn’t take long to find his/her anger button. I listen to the kinds of things he/she laughs at and generally get a lot of data as to the type of person he/she is. For example, if someone laughs at others, he probably does a lot of competing and comparing with others.

---If people hold grudges a lot, they are probably still blaming someone for their present situation. People do much better when they take responsibility in their life. Even if they take total responsibility for laughing at the things they laugh at…they will find it reveals much about the kind of person they are. If someone is successful at something, their reaction to his success tells much about them. If they are threatened by it, it is one thing. To be happy because of it...well, that is another.

---And those times in life that we may feel we like or love someone who does NOT feel the same. We feel unloved and rejected. We feel unrequited and unsatisfied...distress to the pit of our stomach and we see no relief in sight. We may realize those unrequited feelings may reflect how our relationship with life has been. Those feelings must be dealt with.

---To make a long story short...1] the things that need to be heard are the things that further the self expression of the individual without hurting others and 2] the confidence to learn that it is better to be who one is in the process and to NOT compete and/or compare oneself with others to see how we are doing. Be Well.

A Draft That Be Added To Or Subtracted From At Anytime.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017



---I’d like to speak of the situation Galileo found himself in many years ago and how it resembles the modern day position of many people. He believed the truth that the earth circled the sun instead of the common belief that the sun circled the earth. People in his day believed that the sun circled the earth AND being written that way in the bible…made it easy for folks to accept that falsehood. Frankly, with the limited sight and instruments, it is very easy to understand why many thought that.

---Galileo built a telescope and began to see a larger version of what most had been referring to and was able to see things that were never seen. In his new vision he saw something that contradicted conventional wisdom and the bible (which was seen by many as the literal word of God.) Galileo was persecuted and punished for stating what he saw. He was called a heretic by the masses who still had limited vision and believed the conventional wisdom which was that the sun circled the earth…thinking Galileo was, hence, being wrong. He was called a heretic for holding his beliefs...which were true. He decided not to be a martyr for his cause, as he realized that the truth as he understood it...will come out eventually. A very shrewd move on his part.

---Today, many are in a similar boat that Galileo found himself. There still seem many who hold the belief that making others well somehow doesn't involve making folks well in a holistic manner. They seem more involved with relieving the pain without going to the heart of the matter. There seems a faction of society unconvinced that the negativity of the patient has much to do with the cause of the discomfortWe live in a very pill-oriented society. We seem to want a medication to address every bad attitude. I think that many folks would be happier if they pursued a GROWTH MINDSET instead of remaining in a FIXED MINDSET. They find themselves held in check by others with a FIXED MINDSET. (Much like the blind leading the blind.)

---Psychologist Abraham Maslow said that our only real rival is our own potential. The FIXED MINDSET is NOT concerned with reaching one's own potential. It is mainly concerned with appearing to reach our own potential without giving away the fact that we haven't reached it. We become more concerned with saving face than with actual growth.

---A GROWTH MINDSET is much more concerned with actually growing and (by growing) heads naturally in that direction. The cure comes from teaching the residents to express themselves in a civil, caring manner, not dominating others with fear, and by working together and building a society based on caringness, mutual-respect and togetherness. Be Well.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Monday, May 8, 2017

NURSES WEEK 2011-Nostalgic
---Rey Guarin has come through with another video. Thanks, again...Rey! More to come -

A nostalgic look at the way things were a year or so ago. Some are gone...but not forgotten. Good work, Rey.

---I originally posted this video in 2011. I haven't seen Rey in a couple years. It was wonderful to see this...again. Great Job, Rey. Thanks!

---You may have seen this before, well here it is again. Worth another watch! And, also, thanks Rey!


Friday, May 5, 2017

Saturday, April 29, 2017


A Patient's Tenets

---1. The idea that to get anything that you really need, one has to begin the process by giving it. This is essentially the Golden Rule. Whatever behavior that you want shown to you usually begins with you showing that behavior to others. Whether it be hate, love, respect, disrespect, etc., if you want others to treat you kindly then it behooves you to treat others kindly. (Biggest mistake is in waiting for others to treat you the way you want...first.)

---2. Another thing that the patient needs to enjoy living is to be heard and to be taken seriously. Folks must learn how to listen to the resident/patient. They must learn to hear what the resident/patient says. Then he must take him/her seriously. Both are very important and makes a big difference to those who experience this. When this happens for the patient, and he is assured that this has taken place, it frees him to NOT worry about being heard or taken seriously. He will begin to experience more quality in his/her life. His level of enjoyment will skyrocket. Everything will look up. He/she will know himself in a much deeper way, through this process.

---3. Learning that through the power of YET…one can learn and grow beyond what he/she may have originally thought. One may go from a FIXED MINDSET to a GROWTH MINDSET more easily when one is convinced it may happen. With the knowing of the power of YET, things that aren’t known YET, can now be learned. It is NOW known, through scientific study, that all folks can improve and grow. Understanding effort is the key!

This is a DRAFT and may be added to at anytime...