Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Laguna Honda Hospital Resident

Thursday, December 31, 2015




(Picture: A Good Example)
1. Did you ever plan on something to happen on schedule, and then the plans were changed?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

2. Has the telephone ever rang while you were doing something important?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

3. Has your boss ever given you too much work...and a deadline?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

4. Have you ever been waiting in a long line, getting near to the time you know
you have to be someplace else?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

5. Have you ever lost or misplaced your keys? [A Classic]
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

6. Did anyone ever cut ahead of you in line?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

7. Have you ever been stuck in traffic?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

8. Did you ever realize that something you believed in can't be trusted any longer?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

9. Have you ever been in pain, but had to wait for relief to kick-in?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

10. Did you ever find yourself to be hungry, but had NO food or money?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!


---Frustration, we can see, comes into play when we have an idea to go a certain way...and, we are told we must go another. Our expectations are thwarted. We are inclined to go one way, but are forced to go another.

---We find that this plays out many, many times in our lives. We have one set of ideas, but others have other ideas about what is to be done. We have to learn the art of compromise. It is NOT a bad thing to become acquainted with as we travel.

---Frustrations, big or small, have one thing that they INTERNALLY all have in common. No matter what makes up your life, frustration is based on where you are in life vs. your own potential. It is always between what you are/do, up against our natural talents to do things. Learning how to best deal with these obstacles to growth is the way we learn our life lessons to grow and reach our potential. It gets hairy when our very survival comes into the mix.  We have to learn attitudes that repair our ways of handling them. We may need help!

---Whenever we are thwarted in our attempts to grow, we will experience frustration. Stress goes hand-in-hand with frustration much of the time. Frustration can be a prelude to learning. Usually, there is something that is good to know around the corner.

---The FRUSTRATION QUIZ is just small way we see that frustration is potentially there all-the-time. It may be helpful to write down your biggest oppressive situations. Also, write down times you have been the oppressor. OR, you can have yourself a fun, safe time this NEW YEAR'S and come back to it sometime in the near future. Be Well and Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 19, 2015




Monday, December 14, 2015



Thursday, December 10, 2015


---This may spur you on to listen to her TEDtalks + YouTubes.

Sunday, December 6, 2015


What Realization Helps Stop Us Hating?

---You can have one realization that stops you from disliking other people. It is the realization that keeps others off of any negative list we may have. Realization: You don’t hate or dislike the other person or people, but hate or dislike the behavior that is used.

---When you look into this a bit more deeply we find that it generally the behavior or attitude of other people (or our own) that causes ALL the problems. That’s what we find ourselves reacting to.

---To go a step further into this cave…we find that the values one has, directs what attitudes + behaviors the person uses. If the values change, than usually the attitudes + behaviors change.

---Attitudes + behaviors can be like coats folks put-on or take-off. If someone is doing something we don’t particularly like or saying something we find irritating they are probably wearing a garment from ‘’His Own Values Store’’ that we don’t like. The opposite is true if we find we like something.

---If we want to make changes in our attitudes and behaviors - we have to make changes in the values to insure any lasting changes are made. Peoples values are difficult to mess with as they reflect how they believe life works and are set very deeply inside. Wherever one truly finds himself in this crazy thing we call life and living PROBABLY/UNDOUBTEDLY has a value system that backs it up. And…it was PROBABLY/UNDOUBTEDLY set in place by a deep-seated reason why it is there. If we want the best for others than we will undoubtedly think good thoughts. If we don’t want what is best for others and treat them negatively, we will probably find that the way we have been treating others is the way we ’’are and will be’’ treated - negatively. It will be this way until…we make a positive change in our values…to remedy the situation. That’s why it pays well to treat others kindly or find out why we don‘t. Check your values! This could be the most important thing that you have ever done. Be Well.

(You will find positive values take root much easier than anything negative...if we tend to be positive)

---If you find you have a strong prejudice based on something beyond the annoyances of behaviors, than maybe you should talk to someone to help you delve more deeply into it.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015


''We ALL Love One Another; We're Just Working Out The Details''

---What do I mean when I say this? As a matter of fact I tell folks that this is my personal philosophy. It seems that it isn't as obvious to others as I thought.

---We must break it down into two parts. We ALL love one another. That in itself seems ludicrous. I can give a list of people that I don't love...or even like very much. People go from there usually giving me a quick list of different world leaders who were the cause of much suffering, death + destruction. How can I possibly love them. They can be outraged at me for even suggesting that.

---I have to break it down a bit further. I believe that LOVE exists whether we feel it or not. Whether anyone feels it or not. LOVE is always is just that most folks don't know how to access it. The problem that I see is this; folks for the most part are waiting to be loved and are not loving. They may think that they are, but self-concern + saving face runs the show. They are, usually, busy TRYING to get their needs + preferences met. Because of this backwards approach (if you will,) folks end up waiting to be loved instead of being loving. I see this as being the real problem...but, that is, then, hence its solution.

---We must be loving for this process to work. If we wait around to be loved and are NOT being loving –
we then have the process backwards. If we wait to feel love first, we may just wait forever (a long, long time.) You will wait as long as it takes for you to learn that it works the other way.

---''To FEEL LOVE, YOU MUST BE LOVING.'' The other way doesn't work. It is like waiting to be perfect before you act. It is one thing to get your act together, but waiting to be perfect FIRST will not work. Too many semantics and interpretations to concern yourself with before you can declare that that has indeed happened AND you are now perfect. (Ask your mother, wife or sister to weigh-in on the subject...if you are getting too full of yourself.) Husbands, in general, if smart...won't answer that or just will not truthfully know what you're talking about.

---The second half of that statement - working out the details...come into play in the fact that many, many have still got it backwards and complain so much and so loudly and wonder why it doesn't work. Some folks have a lot invested in its being the other (wrong) way AND they belligerently insist that it does indeed work the other (wrong) way...even when they may NOT realize what it is that they are really doing.

---Folks go to war over the fact that they have this backwards...instead of simply realizing that they must love first. Many relationships go sour, because of faulty logic. A lot of time is spent on trying to see eye-to-eye before love is even considered. That, once again is CONDITIONAL LOVE and NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Instead of being love only those that see things as you do. The DETAILS are KILLING US in this way.
Love is a FACT...NOT JUST A FEELING. Act accordingly. Be Well.

The saying now changes to:

''We ALL Love One Another; we are simply + gently working out the details''

Saturday, November 28, 2015


Pleasure, Pain, Fear
 ---When I was in my twenties, I used to read a lot of J. Krishnamurti. He would speak of FEAR very much. That is because he saw fear as being the true opposite to LOVE. NOT HATE...but, FEAR. He said that people would experience hatred, because they had some kind of fear for whatever it may be that they hated...AND, it was driving the boat. He, also, believed, as many did, that FEAR dissipated when one understood whatever it was that caused the FEAR. He thought once fear was understood you were well on your way to ''getting'' what life + living were ALL about.
---He spoke of the fact that man tended to seek pleasure and avoid pain...AND that dynamic INCREASES FEAR. Pleasure has an elusive quality to it and is hardly ever the same twice in a row. One seeking pleasure sets himself to easily become addicted to whatever he uses to avoid pain. He becomes desperate in his pursuit of pleasure and avoidance and gets further from facing the original pain. He finds himself on the other side of it, feeling pain, NOW...from those very things that once brought pleasure.

---What is this PAIN that he keeps avoiding? It masks itself and shows it is still any number of ways. can be traced as the source of all pain. It is the pain of facing oneself. There are many books that address this – some good, some bad. Why it is so painful is because of the embarrassment involved. TOUGHNESS INCREASES WHEN WE FACE OUR EMBARRASSMENTS.

---To embark on this field we have to admit (and, maybe for the first time) that we are not perfect. I'm not speaking of some religious thing where we are really all perfect...I'm talking about facing the fact that maybe our behavior has ALWAYS NOT been perfect and we caused a lot of mayhem in our quest to find ourselves. We are becoming more tolerant in our judgments (at least some of us) than we had been. BUT...facing ourselves and becoming comfortable with our past is a process that gets better with time.

---It will come down to the ability to NOT save face. We have a very difficult time telling the truth in this area. As I have said before, ''we ALL hate to look bad, even if it is only to our own self.'' Be Well.



Sunday, November 22, 2015


Decisions FOR or Decisions WITH

---There once were two brothers, who were very different. The big difference that was quite noticeable was that one of the brothers had decisions made for him, for the most part...while the other brother made his own decisions, for the most part.

---The brother who had his decisions all made for him never seemed to develop the ability to make decisions. When left to his own devices, which wasn't often, the poor guy wouldn't know what to do. If the truth be told...he did NOT know himself very well. The repercussions of decisions he made, which weren't many, made many people angry, also.

---The brother who made his own decisions was much more self-possessed and, through trial and error, learned what worked and what didn't. He easily took responsibility for decisions he made, and, if truth be told, most were sound, anyway.

---The brother who made decisions was easier to work with as giving his opinion was an easy thing to do. The brother who did not make decisions, was easily led. He was a sheep in need of a shepherd.

---If we truly are to rehabilitate people, I think that it is extremely valuable to pay attention to the decision-making skills of people we are making well. As would be with any member of the PANE CLINIC...we must be sure that a rehabilitated person is seeing with clarity. With a clearer vision, he is, now, ready and equipped with the tools to make decisions that are solid and building of a brighter future. 

---Those rehabbed in this way learn to make good decisions and learn ways that prevent him from easily being sucked back into a life of disease, illness, pain and hopelessness. Their lives may improve and then may positively affect many lives...accordingly. Be Well.


PANE CLINIC - To clear up ones vision and visibility. To see oneself better and to ultimately increase self-knowledge.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


---I am a supporter of the work of Dr. Lissa Rankin. This short YOUTUBE (a little over a minute) may lead you to her other YOUTUBEs...again, at the very least.

Friday, November 13, 2015

WHY WE ARE NOT KIND...all-the-time!


 ---My nurse says, ‘’you and others have written many articles with very compelling reasons to be kind. They make me ask the question - If kindness is such a good thing, why aren’t we kind more often? What prevents us from being kind?’’

---A good way to ask the question is this, ‘’if we know kindness + love to be unifying and that we seem to be hardwired for them. And, we know that life works better when we realize that we are on the same team. What keeps us from doing things that cause this oneness to happen? Why aren’t we naturally loving + kind? Why do we prevent this from happening in a big way?''

---Well…we are NATURALLY loving + kind. But…we have behaviors and attitudes that keep loving and kindness from coming through. We have values, attitudes and behaviors that block the loving and kindness. Our own ego gets in the way and wants to WIN. (SAVING FACE!) We want to be the best or at least better than everyone else or even a designated few that we may have problems with - to assure ourselves that we are OKAY. (I am NOT saying that it is bad to come in first is just BE AWARE that you are not defined by that. It is still better and more stress free to be doing our best than worrying about always being the best.) As a good example for what I the POLITICAL DEBATES that are happening in our country. Watch The potential candidates 2015...DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONs!

---This is NOT new. Lao-Tzu even talked about it thousands of years ago. Instead of being loving and kind with/to each other…we COMPETE and COMPARE ourselves with/to each other. That is the main problem.

---We check and see how well that we’re doing in comparison to how others are doing. If we are doing better than so-and-so, then it, somehow, proves how well we are doing. If someone is achieving TOO much than we berate his character until WE feel more comfortable with it ALL.

---That is really the long-and-short of it. We are busy NOT being sure how we’re doing, so we check to see how others are doing. We COMPETE and COMPARE and get trophies, etc., (Gold, Silver and Bronze) as opposed to just doing our best. That is why we have redefined winning. It is NOT about being the best. It is much more about doing our best. Finding our own pace is more the target. NOT showing everyone how good we are compared to them. Let us NOT be juiced by the failures of others. Let’s be juiced by everyone doing his best. REMEMBER: It is more important to do your best…than to be the best! If folks were NOT so concerned with how they, themselves, were doing in comparison to everyone else, we would ALL be winners DOING OUR BEST! Honestly, we’d be a much happier people. Be Well.


Saturday, November 7, 2015


The ''LEFT-HAND'' Situation

---To state more clearly and to answer why this particular essay is so
important in my own life and why I think it is important to ALL of us. It is an example in my own experience of how one goes from the ''darkness'' into the ''light.'' Well placed Affirmation along the way gave me what I needed to continue. I know that this will work in your life, too!

---I was born with my left-hand missing four fingers. REMEMBER: my missing fingers represent whatever it may be that you, yourself, has yet to accept. Believe me, through much experience, I'll tell you that we are much in the same boat in this! The stages I went through toward Acceptance are very much the same as Kubler-Ross' stages of accepting situations in our lives. She, herself, came upon these as she was looking into how we ''grieve.''
DENIAL - Keeping my hand in my pocket and not letting others or anyone see or experience the real me. It seemed easier, but I wasn't being honest with myself and that is very important.

ANGER - Came about in the form that I should be able to show my hand, but I just couldn't.

BARGAINING - ''If God will grow my fingers than...'' I became a bit irrational at times because it would keep me from having to face the reality of having the missing fingers. This stage taught me much as I could see that I had some growing and learning to do. My ideas of ''God'' greatly matured here.

DESPAIR - I realized that there was NOTHING I could do to change my situation-except Change My Attitude. Growth was happening, Acceptance was taking place, but I felt very helpless. I needed to - TRUST that it was OKAY to be me. I had to let go of the way I thought it was supposed to be, and actually get on with things. It was one of the most painful situations I ever had to face, but it carried great rewards with it. I was closer to being the person I was born to be. It was in this time - frame of my life that I became a serious candidate for joining the Jesuit Priesthood. This was in the late 1970's.
---A word to the wise in all of this. It is a PROCESS and one will HAVE to allow some time to embody what is going on with oneself. Take it slow and don't try to force anything. It is a natural growth process so all we have to do is just be honest with ourselves each step of the journey we are on. We will grow into whatever we are to gain from all this. Be good to yourself and remember...the simpler the better.

ACCEPTANCE - Gradually you find yourself NOT hiding your hand, or whatever it might be, in your ''pocket'' or anywhere else for that matter. In fact, your attitude can turn so much that you forget that at one time it was even an issue. It is the process where suddenly you can see that which you thought to be a ''Curse,'' is really a ''Blessing.'' Be Well.

Most of this was written in 2005 or so!

(Picture By Lauren S.)

Monday, November 2, 2015



---On HALLOWEEN morning I got to talking with one of the nurses. I asked why she didn't wear a costume? Her answer was that it takes her TOO long to go through all that. We have always had a pretty good I said, ''I can probably shed some light on why it takes you so long.''

---She looked at me with a look that seemed to want to hear more of what I had to say. I said, ''it gets to where you're so busy trying to apply it so perfectly that it becomes a real chore to do. You want it to be so perfect that when folks judge you for wearing it, it actually defies judgment ( know of the hurtful judgment, because, it has quietly helped you come undone in the past.'') Then I said, ''that's very common.'' Many, many people suffer from self-consciousness.

---It is saving face and we are never being spontaneous enough to do what we really want. We are afraid to appear wrong and foolish...and struggle to withstand the judgment of others. We may be exposed and found out where others see/know how wrong we actually may be. (And, their response will reveal that...NO matter how silent or loud it is.) WE HATE TO APPEAR WRONG! We have intertwined being even a little wrong with our TOTAL self worth - somehow.

---Until we loosen up and realize that it is alright to be wrong,   sometimes, and to be ourselves, always...we ALL seem to go through this struggle – TO FIND OURSELVES or TO BE OURSELVES. It really is okay to be silly and to be wrong...but, we protect these very diligently. But...if the truth be told at those times that our defenses aren't as strong as usual... we, probably, liked it. We may have really liked it. You may have had an experience near the one I describe, drugging and drinking...BUT, then have the drug and drink with which to deal. Don't take yourself so seriously AND you'll do yourselves a tremendous favor. Take it from one who has been there. There is quite a difference from NOT BEING YOURSELF and BEING YOURSELF.

---Our normal look is just one of the many that we could be this very moment! may be the one that best expresses who/what we are at the present time given our present abilities to know and withstand the pressures of the society in which we live. In this light...again, are we being and living at our best? Are we satisfied? Are we happy? Are we living up to our own potential? Remember that if we still blame others for our shows us that we have more learning and growing to do. Be Well!

REMEMBER: This is a draft and may be futzed with a bit.

Friday, October 30, 2015

BBC-News Video - ''Pretty much a miracle''
---For anyone who hasn't seen the video. Mark M., is no longer at the hospital. Congratulations to ALL who were part of his rehabilitation.
---Definitely a MUST SEE video. Good Luck to you...Mark (from the residents.)
---Thanks to ALL in the HELPING profession for coming through for so many of us in our hour of need and for the days following. I am very glad that you receive back the help that you give. It confirms my belief that we are ALL in this, together - when I witness this kind of thing first-hand, everyday. For anyone that has ever HELPED anyone at anytime. Kudos.

I watched this again in May, I know it is still there. There is a commercial at the beginning and very able to be watched in 2015.

Here is a posting from 4 years ago. It highlights Laguna Honda Hospital

Friday, October 16, 2015


---This is a gimmicky new homophonic way to get a thought through. We are all very aware of the 'Pain Clinic,' I think. The Pain Clinic is a way that we who have a chronic type of pain, can learn to best manage/live with it. I must admit, I have never been referred there, but know many who have. I, also, know many who are on the staff.

---What I am going to suggest is NOT brand spanking new and even been touched upon by many of the things that I, myself, write. I call it the 'Pane Clinic.' The homophone – two words that are pronounced the same, but are essentially unrelated. The 'PANE CLINIC,' basically, makes many of the same claims as the 'Pain Clinic,' but addresses things from a different perspective.

---At the 'Pane Clinic' we attempt to clear up the vision and visibility of the client involved. This runs on the belief that pain is not organic in nature and is able to be uprooted with the proper vision in its place. (There are many people who have touched upon this, and many who disagree...through a shortsightedness) I, also, believe that this vision is already contained within each person. Through a proper clearing away of all that is not that...we then have the chi, the viriditas**, the god force or whatever you want to call it, left. That does the healing.

---Here we have the truth that sets you free meeting Einstein's equation of E=MC2. At that point where matter changes to energy or the physical to spirit we have the vision getting clearer and/or the 'pane being cleaner' than it once was. This new visibility/vision ALLOWs* the healing. One now sees with new eyes. This dynamic is already very well known in different disciplines around the world. The major problem is that there are many beings who still don't (won't) understand its logic. They aren't comfortable with something so simple. It is based on love, compassion and kindness. Wellness is still the objective. It is still about being positive. Think on this for awhile. I think that it will be understood, eventually. Fear is still the biggest obstacle in the understanding. Be Well.

[As always...this is a draft and may be futzed with at anytime by the author.]

*The word ALLOWs is used instead of the word 'is'

**Spelling of 'viriditas'

Wednesday, September 30, 2015


---I was watching CNN the other day when something caught my eye. There was a village in Africa where the house had running water ''for the first time.'' The joy on the faces, young an old alike, was incredible. They were ALL beaming at the sight of the water coming into the house on-demand by simply pumping the well. longer would the younguns' have to arise early to go to the river and get the daily supply of the H2O for the household. Matt Damon, the actor, was part of the project. That is, probably, why it got as much airtime as it did.

---I was thinking of how easy it is to take things for granted. When was the last time you found yourself marveling at the wonders of water? It has been over sixty years, myself. I have placed a lot of things in that category...if NOT everything. They speak of food, clothing and shelter to be what sustains life. But...all that would be in moderation.

---When I saw the authentic look of appreciation on the faces of the people in the village who had running water...I realized that I haven't seen that look in awhile. But, I have seen it. I've seen it in and out of the hospital. It usually happens when someone has been given something or has access to something that profoundly touches them. It is mostly something that they have deemed as important.

---If we have easy access to everything we find that it doesn't work any better than NO ACCESS to ANYTHING. We can see the sense that ''waste not...want not'' can make. Fear causes us to stockpile things to prepare for imagined future disasters. We have to realize that negativity projected at those times causes the very disasters that we are afraid of. Convenience is backfiring all around us. We realize that health is jeopardized if there is little movement in our lives. Frenetic worry is NOT the answer.


Saturday, September 26, 2015

Wednesday, September 23, 2015



 ---I'm sure we all have heard the expressions that it is ''nice to be nice'' and ''there is a lot of power in kindness''...but, were you aware that science is finding that anyone who witnesses an act of kindness – benefits, also. His body chemistry improves when he takes notice of kindness happening. They are calling this warm feeling a ''moral elevation.''

---If you think back to a time when something kind was happening in your can, probably, relate. Scientists are also finding that folks tend to ACT more kindly when witnessing kindness. They are seeing niceness to be contagious in this way.

---If we act kindly toward someone we usually find that is the way they respond. The Golden Rule is in motion and we see that folks generally treat us much like we treat them. Watch how dogs act around you. We more or less get what we give. Be kind, but, also, be intelligent. Don't be someone's doormat. If we are being kind, BUT...realize that that is being driven by an ulterior motive that we have, that will eventually breakdown. That is why it is so important to have a handle on how we, ourselves, operate.

---Knowing ourselves and our motivations and being honest with it all will, probably, provide us with quality relationships for a longtime. In the same vein, if we are playing games with people's feeling we are probably watching ours being stomped on, too. Be NICE, Be KIND and Be INTELLIGENT! Eventually we'll be witnessing kindness, again. The world sure seems in need of some. Be Well!

BE KIND: This is something that we can do!


Kindness: CREATES an 'us' space,
NOT a 'you vs. me' space
---We will start with the premise that we ALL know about kindness. We have probably experienced that by being in the vicinity where ''kind'' was happening. Whether you believe that folks are kind because it is their nature or kindness is a way folks manipulate one another to get their own needs met, we all have a concept of what kindness is.

---If we are kind and act kindly things tend to be more hassle-free. It seems to work better than those times we begin by demanding and acting selfishly. When we are in a situation only concerned with getting our own needs met and have NO concern for what others may be doing...we act opposite to being kind. The more civil we act tends to be a better thing for society in general. You catch more flies with honey.


---So...this is pretty fundamental and we all seem to be aware of it. At onetime in my life we seemed to approach each other with this abandon, but we now carry a wariness and suspicion when we move amongst each other. The old joke has come to past – ''Even if you're NOT paranoid; it doesn't mean you're NOT being followed.''

---It seems we have to get back to an 'us' space. When we see life as a 'me vs. them' proposition, then that is what we will see AND that's when our heartaches begin. It is up to us (you and I) to make this an 'us' space, again. The only thing that will (turn folks back around) is NOT to add to the suspicion that folks already have. If you are kindly and true to this belief, than you will convey that. The quote by Gandhi was right on: be the change that you wish to see in the world. We have to start by being more proactively kind. Be Well.


Thursday, September 17, 2015

MISS COLORADO - ''Just a Nurse!''

What a Great Kick-off To The ''Quality of Life - Performance Improvement Team's'' KINDNESS CAMPAIGN -

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Dr. BJ Miller - TEDtalk

---A very inspiring talk by Dr. BJ Miller. He is the head of the Zen Hospice project at Laguna Honda Hospital in San Francisco. Do yourself a favor and listen to what Dr. Miller has to say. Kudos to all!

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Burt Mann Memorial

---Many of us went to Burt Mann's memorial service, yesterday, July 29, 2012. He passed on a week ago. Burt was a great guy. His honesty was unprecedented. He made his mark at Laguna Honda and if his memorial service is any can see that he affected many, many folks in a way that will last awhile.

---There is much that I could write about Burt...but, to sum it up very neatly (which wasn't exactly Burt's style.) Everyone loved Burt and Burt loved everyone. The impact that Burt had was great. Knowing Burt was a reason to be thankful.

I republished this one. It is for those who remember Burt. He sure was a great guy.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

KINDNESS - Patients/Staff

REMEMBER: Kindness Begins With YOU, No Matter Who YOU Are!