HOW NOT TO TAKE THINGS
TOO PERSONALLY
(TWO STRATEGIES)
---This is my reaction to the TEDtalk, ‘’HOW NOT TO TAKE THINGS TOO PERSONALLY.’’ I know a lot of people who struggle with this very thing. I think his material was very good, but I thought that he didn’t connect with the audience all that well. I do give him much credit for immersing himself into the thick of being looked down upon by everyone in the world at onetime or another. Referee's are accused and get called everything in the book. If you want to be the object of the ire of thousands of people, being a referee seems to be the job for you. Video is 18 minutes. Give a listen.
STRATEGY 1. - It is NOT our fault that he/she is like they are. They want their team to win and any call that threatens that, they relate to being the ref’s fault for going against the objective of their team winning. Your call may be correct, but it is not the one they want. You are wrong in their eyes because you dared buck the outcome that they want.
STRATEGY 2. - There may be some truth in what is said. The more you own that the quicker you are free from it. The negative comment being made hits a nerve and something that she says has been a sore spot for you for a longtime. Whether you are refereeing a game or doing something well, the negative comments hurled at you are in different degrees of hurt. Some hit the nail on the head as to your own sensitivity and some are more like water off a duck’s back. They don’t stick as much.
Many people seem to need to blame others to a great degree. And being right is very important to them. They have a difficult time with being wrong and looking bad. But, truly, facing up to your shortcomings is the beginning of healing your attitude in any situation.
With myself, I could see that my own shortcomings were not in the way my left-hand looked, but the shortcomings were in my own attitude toward the way that it looked. To take it another step, I started seeing the situation through the eyes of the 'GOLDEN BUDDHA!' That improved slowly and felt so good when I finally got on the other side of it. It eventually healed like a cut or wound heals when allowed. Be sure that things are set properly, the correct attitudes are in place...and let nature take its course. Have faith at this point. Be patient! It may take sometime, but is well-worth it. Take Care.
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