FRUSTRATION TO LOVE!

FRUSTRATION TO LOVE -
''First-Hand'' Experience



---FRUSTRATION is something that I'll bet EVERYONE knows about from a First-Hand experience. It seems to be one those things that we, as humans, deal with much or most of the time. Who hasn't dealt with some sort of FRUSTRATION?

---I've done a lot of thinking on the subject lately, and I see it is potentially there in ALL situations. You have one ''plan'' while someone has ''another.'' When they meet, someone is not going to be satisfied. FRUSTRATION. Since both expected their plans to work, someone is going to have to compromise. How well one ''Compromises his Expectations,'' seems to play a part in it. This is a part of the ''give'' and ''take'' of everyone's life. We learn from these experiences. We soon see which cards to hold and which to fold.

---We set out to go from point A to point B. Something gets in the way-a Roadblock. We can NOT go from A to B, smoothly. Something ''frustrates'' the situation. The Roadblock.
---A ROADBLOCK Hinders Smooth Travel.
---Much Depends On Relationship With ROADBLOCK.
---If we have a ''good'' relationship with the Roadblock, then the problem is less. If we can't stand the Roadblock, then the frustration is more. It seems to work like this in all our frustrations- big to small.

---For example, you sit down to a hot meal. A to B is to eat the meal hot. Telephone rings-Roadblock. How you deal with the Roadblock in this case is how well you deal with this particular A to B. Your level of frustration will reflect this. If the ''call'' goes well or not is seen in how frustrated you are. Some of us are frustrated before the meal even enters the picture. Maybe better days were put on hold a long time ago.

---Improve Relationships To ROADBLOCKS That Occur.
---It seems that if we want to be less frustrated that we should ''improve'' our relationships with the Roadblocks that come up. Or, maybe it is time to make right roadblocks that have come up in our past. If we see the same ones a lot, maybe we should look at our A to B, and be sure we are going with the ''best'' A to B, the ''best'' situation, we can. Be Well.


The FRUSTRATION FACTOR -

I Talk About The STROKE,
JESUITS and SMOKING

--- A Dictionary Definition of ''Frustrate'' is - To make worthless or nullify. To thwart. This is very important to me and I think to many others, and it seems to be one of those situations that governs the other things that we do. I see where it applies to my own situation and I will share it with you.

---''One Time, Pretty Normal.'' - EXPLAINS -

.---Not too long ago, I was pretty much ''normal'', whatever that is. By ''normal'' I mean, I could walk around, see properly and had balance without the aid of a wheelchair or any other device. I did have high blood pressure that was untreated, and I did smoke. This was not a good combination as both, probably, contributed to my Stroke. I'm sure. In any case, I'll bet it didn't ward it off.

---In any event, I was doing alright. I could do much of what I wanted to do and I was not being particularly- ''thwarted.'' There was not a whole lot of frustration to deal with. For the most part, things went along fairly smooth.

---June 2, 2002, I had a ''Stroke.'' I was 51 years old at the time, a bit on the

young side to have this happen. A thumbnail view of what occurred is that I bled into the brain-stem area [where the brain and the spinal cord meet]. My mobility changed big time and I have had double-vision ever since.

---FRUSTRATION FOLLOWED STROKE -

.---This is where the ''frustration'' comes in. It is in the fact that I can no longer do what I could do. I am being thwarted, so to speak. I will also bet, and I'm sure its a safe bet, to say that most of us feel we are in the same boat, at least at times. We can no longer do what we could do. We feel thwarted and frustrated. If we take this a step further, I'll bet many of us can put our ''hopes'' and ''dreams'' into this category, too. The things we wanted to do, but never did. This is also the breeding ground for ''frustration.''

---Feeling frustrated is one of those big ones that we see most people have to contend with much of the time. Think how often it comes into play on a short drive. It is not just reserved for stroke patients or people with an illness. We can see the way it pervades our Society. We make plans to go one way and we go another. Every day-to-day thing we seem to do seems laced with the potential for frustration. We are doing what we want and are interrupted. It leaves us with loose ends that are just ''hanging'', needing to be resolved. Many of us have placed ourselves on ''hold'' and never have quite gotten around to ''fulfilling'' what is still there.

---To BE Jesuit Priest, At One Time.

---I was going to be a Jesuit priest at one time, which, to me, involved this kind of writing and giving retreats. It, in some sense, was a place where this type of thinking and communication was taking place. There is no point in beating myself up over this. Acknowledging the truth-of-the-matter is a very good place to start. I then realize that going another way has yielded a certain knowledge, also, and has had riches of its own. I have learned either way. To go one step further, maybe going the ''other way'' was my path to begin with. Its funny that we learn certain things in spite of ourselves. It sort of happens in ''another way.'' Be Well.

CONSIDER THIS...
Why Am I So frustrated?

---We must first find out what we mean by frustration? To me, it means this; we want to go and do something, and something gets in the way. We want to go from point A to point B - but something is an obstacle to this. We want to do this and we end up doing that. We frustrate the doing of ''this.''
---Frustration touches our lives in so many ways. When we are interrupted in making our plans, it is there. When we are interrupted in carrying them out, it's there. When someone starts talking when we're talking, it's there. When we are made to wait or make someone wait, it's there. How many times have you been doing something you thought important, and the telephone rings? It's there, too. Anything taking you from where you were and makes you deal with something completely different, it can be there. The situation, point A, is frustrated, unless you would rather be doing point B to begin with. In this case, why did you start at point A? It is in every detour, every speed bump, every time we are told to hurry. We Make FRUSTRATED And FRUSTRATING Choices That Go In Line With The General FRUSTRATION That We Carry With Us. I would guess there are almost infinite possibilities where frustration can rear its head. I'd also like to point out that I am not exempt from any of this, I just happen to be the one writing this essay.

---I myself use humor to make things more palatable to me, but I know all too well that every ''joke'' has a brunt to it. Be careful along these lines. It is very easy to find someone who doesn't find your quip amusing, and you find yourself offending others where you don't intend. It is important to know your audience or have a general feel for the situation you are in. We learn as we go along, but that doesn't excuse hurting someone else. Being sensitive to everyones hang-ups can put a damper on an evening, also, so I guess why it is said, ''don't hurt anybody.'' In a world where political correctness has so much clout, watch out.

---I get down to the situation that I seem to go to about every time. To me, the answer is- to Love. Flexibility and Love. Frustration is the problem and Love is the answer. Have you ever noticed that your patience level goes up if you ''care'' about the situation. When a child or Loved one is involved, it seems to be bit different. Love seems to be the thing we are frustrated from. Loving and caring. Caring and sharing. We want to Love and we can't. We want to be Loveable and Loved, and we aren't. We Love someone who doesn't ''feel'' the sameway we do, who would rather be ''friends.'' We find ourselves being Loved by someone we can't seem to Love. We would rather be ''friends.''


---HONESTY Will Always DEFEAT Frustration, EVENTUALLY

---It will come down to communication and relationship. If we were hitting on ALL cylinders ALL the time, we wouldn't have such a problem with this. The more Honest the Communication, the ''better'' and more Loving the Relationship. We would be more Fully Human and closer to our Personal Potential and we wouldn't struggle with frustration as we do. I have been thinking of things like this for a long time, but really have been taken aback two times. The importance that Love plays in our lives, especially the Unconditional Kind, and now, how Frustrated we seem to be in attaining this. It seems to expose another dimension to this thing called Living.
 Be Well.