WHY WE ARE NOT KIND...all-the-time!

Why AREN’T We KIND…MORE OFTEN?

(ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED in 2015)

 ---My nurse says, ‘’you and others have written many articles with very compelling reasons to be kind. They make me ask the question - If kindness is such a good thing, why aren’t we kind more often? What prevents us from being kind?’’

---A good way to ask the question is this, ‘’if we know kindness + love to be unifying and that we seem to be hardwired for them. And, we know that life works better when we realize that we are on the same team. What keeps us from doing things that cause this oneness to happen? Why aren’t we naturally loving + kind? Why do we prevent this from happening in a big way?''

---Well…we are NATURALLY loving + kind. But…we have behaviors and attitudes that keep loving and kindness from coming through. We have values, attitudes and behaviors that block the loving and kindness. Our own ego gets in the way and wants to WIN. (SAVING FACE!) We want to be the best or at least better than everyone else or even a designated few that we may have problems with - to assure ourselves that we are OKAY. (I am NOT saying that it is bad to come in first place...it is just BE AWARE that you are not defined by that. It is still better and more stress free to be doing our best than worrying about always being the best.) As a good example for what I mean...watch the POLITICAL DEBATES that are happening in our country. Watch The potential candidates 2015...DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONs!

---This is NOT new. Lao-Tzu even talked about it thousands of years ago. Instead of being loving and kind with/to each other…we COMPETE and COMPARE ourselves with/to each other. That is the main problem.

---We check and see how well that we’re doing in comparison to how others are doing. If we are doing better than so-and-so, then it, somehow, proves how well we are doing. If someone is achieving TOO much than we berate his character until WE feel more comfortable with it ALL.

---That is really the long-and-short of it. We are busy NOT being sure how we’re doing, so we check to see how others are doing. We COMPETE and COMPARE and get trophies, etc., (Gold, Silver and Bronze) as opposed to just doing our best. That is why we have redefined winning. It is NOT about being the best. It is much more about doing our best. Finding our own pace is more the target. NOT showing everyone how good we are compared to them. Let us NOT be juiced by the failures of others. Let’s be juiced by everyone doing his best. REMEMBER: It is more important to do your best…than to be the best! If folks were NOT so concerned with how they, themselves, were doing in comparison to everyone else, we would ALL be winners DOING OUR BEST! Honestly, we’d be a much happier people. Be Well.

LAO-TZU and ABE MASLOW!

A DRAFT!

Karen Armstrong: Let's revive the Golden Rule

Psilocybin, love and the meaning of life | Mary Cosimano | TEDxKC

Psilocybin, love and the meaning of life

Mary Cosimano

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

Michael Pollan

A FRIEND of MINE

---A friend of mine highly recommends the book and the whole experience. She suggests reading the book and to make up your own mind as to how to proceed. The book itself was enjoyable and reminds me much of the Tim Leary and Richard Alpert (Ram Dass) LSD days of the 50’s and 60’s. I, myself, had experiences that resemble these in the 70’s. If nothing else, it gives one a perspective on life that is like no other. My friend agrees with me that it is easy to see how viable things that Mary Cosimano talks about in the above TEDtalk...are. I plan to write more on this at another time.

FEAR of BEING WRONG!

  

---In a case like we have at LHH, we see fear rear its ugly head in the form - thinking against the status quo of things and going against conventional thought and wisdom…has a certain amount of backlash to it. If one is NOT reading the signs and sees that a NEW thinking is needed on an old problem…then one is NOT quite READY to go with the new way of thinking, because, after all, THE OLD WAY IS PAYING THE BILLS.

---There is a risk involved, I will have to admit. But, it does come down to facing a reality that is inevitable. Someday, somehow…yourself or a loved one will need to be taken care of and you will want the best situation that is possible for yourself or this individual. You will then face the reality of how your present day actions & input could or could not have benefited the situation that you will inevitably face.

---If you really believe that all is well and find everybody doing their best, and see NO change is necessary, then I will leave you alone to go on your merry way if you choose. If you don’t add your two-cents and it is a vital two-cents that you have, in the future you may find yourself fighting an uphill battle while not being at all prepared. 

---My suggestion would be to continue until you are convinced that a change is needed. Even if you find yourself questioning any of it, at least it shows you have a concern or interest. If you have any question(s) at all, find the truth of the matter and see which side of the issue that you fall. Even if YOU find that it is YOU that needs changing, then just start treating folks better. Nobody needs to do much more.
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Be sure that your priorities are straight. When seen correctly...if you see that many residents were judged by the wrong schema and changes should be made, don't be afraid to speak up. Let's be sure that LHH is running at the top of its' game and running as it should and people leave our facility ready to start anew with a fresh outlook and much, more positive way of seeing the world. Let's be sure people are properly rehabbed to make positive changes in his/her life to make better choices so he can live a lifestyle that is new and much, more healthy.

FACE OURSELVES and AVOID ADDICTION!

The BIG CHEESE of ADDICTION -

NOT FACING YOURSELF!

FACING YOURSELF BECOMES THE PROCESS of

SELF - ACCEPTANCE!

---The REASON for all addiction is the inability to face ourselves and our alleged shortcomings. If we feel we are doing better than the others, than we may feel we don’t usually have a problem. Actually, we usually have no trouble taking or sharing in the credit for something deemed good. But when we have to face up to something deemed negative that we may find ourselves associated, This is when our heartaches begin.

---Taking credit is not the problem when something positive is happening. The problem will show itself when we become associated with something negative. The problem is not when we face up to what  went down and honestly admit the part that we played in all of it. The problem is that now we have activated the flight response. Fight or Flight? Instead of facing up to the situation...we want to run. When we run, we basically say or do anything that dissociates us with what went down...even when we are caught red-handed with our hand in the cookie jar. RUNNING FROM REALITY, THEN DENYING IT... IS WHERE THE ADDICTION IS BORN!.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---We RUN. Suddenly, we learn we can involve ourselves with being a bit negative and things that takes us from being in the spotlight and NOT feeling as connected as we once did. We even can learn to face looking negative in the eyes of another, but when we realize that someone has been hurt because of something we’ve done...that can be new territory and hard to swallow. We may find ourselves on a road we are not used to. AND/BUT, NOW we have a new tool (drink, drugs or whatever distraction we use to newly keep us from facing ourselves.) It is fast becoming our crutch to help us run, and RUN WE DO. WE ARE STILL RUNNING FROM FACING OURSELVES...BUT, WITH A CRUTCH THAT WILL NEED REPLACING, SOON!

---Looking bad was never the issue, but now it is. A downward spiral has been introduced. We used to easily avoid this but now we say and/or do anything that prevents ourselves from looking bad. Or, at best REALLY BAD! This new cycle has now become our daily routine. We know that it sucks, but our crutch still eases the tension that is at times...the pain. That is when prison as a possibility can come into play. We get off of the stage as soon as possible. We NOW seem to have trouble telling the truth. Saving face and dishonesty are the norm. Folks hide in the shadows, disguising themselves to NOT be recognized for who they are.

---If we STOP RUNNING at anytime...we do ourselves a great favor. I am NOT going to sugarcoat it and say it is always easy! But it is possible. AND, IT IS ALWAYS REWARDING! This is the path that will lead back HOME, again...maybe for the first time

WE ARE ADDICTED TO RUNNING FROM OURSELVES and NOT FACING UP TO WHAT WE DO. WE DO NOT LIKE TO SHINE IN THIS BAD LIGHT! WE WANT TO SHINE IN A GOOD LIGHT! SADLY, WE SAY/DO ALMOST ANYTHING THAT TAKES THE BLAME OFF OF US and PLACES IT ELSEWHERE...IN THIS SITUATION. LEARN TO FACE YOURSELF...IT TRULY IS MUCH EASIER and FAR MORE REWARDING...EVENTUALLY. THIS IS THE PATH TO THE GOLDEN BUDDHA - WITHIN US ALL!

GOLDEN BUDDHA See ''FINDING JOE'' (BELOW)

How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

HOW NOT TO TAKE THINGS

TOO PERSONALLY

(TWO STRATEGIES)

---This is my reaction to the TEDtalk, ‘’HOW NOT TO TAKE THINGS TOO PERSONALLY.’’ I know a lot of people who struggle with this very thing. I think his material was very good, but I thought that he didn’t connect with the audience all that well. I do give him much credit for immersing himself into the thick of being looked down upon by everyone in the world at onetime or another. Referee's are accused and get called everything in the book. If you want to be the object of the ire of thousands of people, being a referee seems to be the job for you. Video is 18 minutes. Give a listen.

STRATEGY 1. - It is NOT our fault that he/she is like they are. They want their team to win and any call that threatens that, they relate to being the ref’s fault for going against the objective of their team winning. Your call may be correct, but it is not the one they want. You are wrong in their eyes because you dared buck the outcome that they want.

STRATEGY 2. - There may be some truth in what is said. The more you own that the quicker you are free from it. The negative comment being made hits a nerve and something that she says has been a sore spot for you for a longtime. Whether you are refereeing a game or doing something well, the negative comments hurled at you are in different degrees of hurt. Some hit the nail on the head as to your own sensitivity and some are more like water off a duck’s back. They don’t stick as much.

Many people seem to need to blame others to a great degree. And being right is very important to them. They have a difficult time with being wrong and looking bad. But, truly, facing up to your shortcomings is the beginning of healing your attitude in any situation. 

With myself, I could see that my own shortcomings were not in the way my left-hand looked, but the shortcomings were in my own attitude toward the way that it looked. To take it another step, I started seeing the situation through the eyes of the 'GOLDEN BUDDHA!' That improved slowly and felt so good when I finally got on the other side of it. It eventually healed like a cut or wound heals when allowed. Be sure that things are set properly, the correct attitudes are in place...and let nature take its course. Have faith at this point. Be patient! It may take sometime, but is well-worth it. Take Care.

RIP - ELIZABETH CUTLER

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN 2016

---Many may not be aware of the fact that Elizabeth Cutler passed on over a week ago. She passed very peacefully. She was a very good friend of mine. She was Resident Council President at the time we moved from the old hospital to the new. Her brother Reese sent this video. 

---I think that most of what she wrote was wonderful...as was she. I was very lucky to know her as well as I did. She thought and felt very deeply!

Nutshell Version of her LIFE! - She spent much of her time trying to please her father and family who were very well-educated and accomplished. She, as many of us do, never felt she lived up to others expectations  She had a difficult time letting down her guard and just be herself.

FINDING HER GOLDEN BUDDHA (BEING HERSELF) -

She befriended a PCA/CNA with whom she felt close and learned to relax and be much, more playful...which she was quite good at. It was great to see her spread her wings and let go of some of the judgmental BS she carried for no reason, for most of her life. RIP, Elizabeth!

Not A Dry Eye In Sight! Ash Ruder Performs An Original Song For Her Dad ...

THIS IS ALMOST TOO MUCH!

HERE is a YOUNG GIRL SINGING to HER DAD 

on his BIRTHDAY!

WARNING! YOU MAY BE POSITIVELY AFFECTED!

''FEAR STRIKES OUT'' - The Jim Piersall Story

Jimmy Piersall

---Jim Piersall was a major league baseball player for most of his adult life. He mostly played for the Boston Red Sox. His life is chronicled in his autobiography and movie of the same name. It was called, ‘’Fear Strikes Out.’’ The movie starred Anthony Perkins and Karl Malden. Perkins played Jimmy and Malden played his overbearing dad. His dad spent a lot of time ingraining into him how important it be that he, Jimmy, become a Major League Baseball Player. Jimmy did but with many foibles because of it. Jimmy had manic depression, also. See how Jimmy suffered in a quest to win his father’s approval. See how Jimmy never felt like he was GOOD ENOUGH.

JIMMY PIERSALL MELTDOWN

JIMMY PIERSALL PARENTING

---Jim spent most of his life trying to please his father instead of finding out who he, himself, is. This lifestyle of trying to be ''GOOD ENOUGH'' for his dad kept him distracted from finding who he is, the ''Golden Buddha,'' within. Jim's dad thought that keeping Jim on the straight and narrow was to keep his mind on improving his skills on the ball field rather than allowing Jim to make mistakes and learn to be himself.

---The sad outcome to this is that Jim didn't discover who he really is, the ''Golden Buddha,'' as he was very busy trying to please his dad by being who his dad thought he should be. Does any of this sound familiar to you and the way you find yourself living your own life. Many of us do much the same thing, in our own way. It could be much the same as NOT being able to accept NOT winning the election or being the best.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET YOURSELF?

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

 

My COMA

 My brother asked to write what it was like going into a COMA. I told him that I really don't remember much, but people had to deal with my seizure and slipping into the coma, etc. Twice, I woke up in the ambulance on the way to the hospital NOT knowing what was happening.

The COMA - 1997

---They talk about it being on the fence between life and death.  I was brought to the hospital having fallen at my hotel. The doctor said I was suffering from polydipsia. That’s the condition of having drank too much. The doctor assumed that as I was from the area of the city known for drinking too much, He thought I was probably suffering from polydipsia from too much alcohol.

---After treating me awhile he could NOT understand why I wasn’t responding to the treatment. Eventually, he called my case manager. She told him that during my visits, I go out for water quite frequently. He thought awhile and realized that I had polydipsia for sure, but realized that it was NOT ALCOHOL. It was plain-old water. I was basically waterlogged and had peed out a good amount of my enzymes. I was aware of drinking a lot of water and peeing a lot, but wasn’t aware that i was depleting my enzymes. The amount of water was about 8 two-liter plastic bottles per day - the kind Diet Coke comes in...if you’re wondering.

---The following day after being brought to the hospital, they took me down for x-rays. I basically remember going downstairs. I had a seizure while being x-rayed and lapsed into the coma. For the next five days I was in a coma, never coming out of it.

---On the fifth day, in the morning, I was aware of someone sticking a needle between my fingers. I was in that state between sleeping and wakefulness. I opened and closed my eyes a few times, thinking that I was in my hotel room, but someone had put a screen of some sort near my bed.

---I remember thinking that Cliff (my hotel manager) will like what I’ve done with the room, but he’ll never understand all these people sticking needles in me. Or, even why they are there. It took awhile, but I finally realized I was not at the hotel, but still in the hospital. The hospital staff began to talk with me and I finally caught on to what happened.

---That is the long and the short of the actual comatose experience. I have had experiences of having a seizure and going unconscious, before. They were all very much the same experience, but they didn’t last long enough to be categorized as a coma. I don’t know the official amount of days that is required. I awakened in the ambulance not aware of what happened. All I was aware of at those times really was waking up in the ambulance. Both times I couldn’t supply many of the details. Once in Los Angeles in 1990 in front of the urinal in the bathroom and once in 2005 at Laguna Honda Hospital aspirating on watermelon pieces that were served at lunch. Both times I went to the ICU at a local hospital.

DURING THE TIME SPENT IN THE COMA, I AM AWARE THAT I DID RE-CONNECT WITH MYSELF, WHICH WAS VERY NECESSARY and VERY BENEFICIAL.

Highway to Heaven - Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot Part 1 + 2

''HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN''

MICHAEL LANDON

Parts 1 & 2

Heart-warming episode for the

Nursing Home Crowd.

Pilot movie (both episodes) for series

DeINSTITUTIONALIZATION of the HOSPITAL

 

---A Version ''De-INSTITUTIONALIZE HOSPITAL''

Here is one of my first video's I made in 2005. We were trying to change the experience residents had from the idea of living in an institution into a more homelike setting

KINDNESS IS KING! - The DALAI LAMA

CLICK THOUGHTOON!