COMPASSIONATE LISTENING MODEL

Compassionate Listening Model

Compassionate Listening helps us to awaken to what the mystics from all of the great faiths have known for centuries: that cultivating the wisdom of the heart is the key to real peace from the inside out. The intention of Compassionate Listening is to access our deepest wisdom to transform separation and conflict into an opportunity for connection, healing and peace.

Compassionate Listening is

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• A personal practice – to cultivate inner strength, self awareness, self regulation and wisdom
• A skill set – to enhance interpersonal relations and navigate challenging conversation
• A process – to bring individuals or groups together to bridge their differences and transform conflict
• A healing gift – to offer a compassionate listening session to a person who feels marginalized or in pain

Compassionate Listening was conceived by Gene Knudsen Hoffman (1919 - 2010), international peacemaker, founder of the US/USSR Reconciliation program for the Fellowship of Reconciliation, and student of Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. The concepts were further developed by Leah Green, Carol Hwoschinsky, and a group of dedicated individuals who are now facilitators of the work.

As Gene originally conceived it, Compassionate Listening requires non-judgmental listening and deepening, non-adversarial questions. Listeners seek the truth of the person speaking, seeing through ‘masks of hostility and fear to the sacredness of the individual.’ Listeners accept what others say as their perceptions, and validate the right to their own perceptions. In this way, listeners seek to humanize the ‘other’. Compassionate Listening can cut through barriers of defense and mistrust, enabling both those listened to and those listening to hear themselves in new light, to change their opinions, and to make more informed decisions. Through this process, fear can be reduced, and participants will be better equipped to discern how to proceed with effective action. 

We honor Gene as the originator of Compassionate Listening and invite you to learn more about her in

“Compassionate Listening and other writings by Gene Knudsen Hoffman,” by Anthony Manousos.

Click here to learn more about this beautiful book and purchase it online.

You can also download her free  Compassionate Listening Sourcebook with a chapter by Leah Green. 

Some of Gene’s essays on Compassionate Listening are on the web at the New Conversations Initiative.

THICH NHAT HANH - OPRAH WINFREY (22 mins)

OPRAH WINFREY 

TALKs WITH

THICH NHAT HANH

COMPASSIONATE LISTENING - WOMEN BEHIND BARs!

Compassionate Listening Behind Bars

By Andrea Cohen, Senior CL Facilitator

---Rolling up to the barbed wire fence of the Washington Corrections Facility for Women, I prepare myself for teaching some of the institution’s residents the practices of Compassionate Listening. It’s part of a program designed to help them “turn around” conflict in their lives.

 ---With all of my jewelry, money and identifying information left behind, other than the driver’s license which I’m required to give the guard for safe-keeping, I’m ready to meet the women who have voluntarily signed up for the workshop. After going through multiple levels of security and passing a number of residents clothed in loose gray sweats along the way, my colleagues and I finally arrive at the education building where approximately fifteen women are waiting for us. I know nothing about the people present – what they’re in for, how long they’ve been there, who is a wife or a mother, and whether there are some who might be there for the rest of their lives. What I see before me is a very diverse group of women curious about what we have to offer and perhaps wondering why we’ve traveled so far to offer it.

 ---After introductions, we do a brief centering and exploration of what it means to be fully present with our hearts – from that special place of beauty that lives within each of us at the core of our being. And then we do listening exercises. The women experience what it’s like to be listened to without judgment, interruption or fixing. They practice reflecting back the facts, feelings and values contained in each other’s stories. They laugh, they cry and they’re grateful. They’d like us to return, and we do. A few sessions later, I gift them with a copy of Practicing the Art of Compassionate Listening, which they excitedly read portions of to each other - clearly “getting” the power of our work and wanting more.

 ---This is just the beginning of my story about teaching Compassionate Listening to women behind bars. A number of my fellow CL colleagues on both coasts have been doing similar work with incarcerated men and women in their communities. Why do we keep going back? Because we have something important to share – skills and practices that can make a difference in the residents’ relationships with themselves, their families and the people they interact with “on the inside.” By what stroke of fortune, circumstances of birth and personal choices made am I not the one living behind barbed wire? What are these women there to teach me – about courage, patience and commitment to growth?

 ---Without regard to how we’ve each arrived at this moment, now is the time when, perhaps together, we can help heal our world...from the inside out. A lofty goal that truly begins one heart at a time. Be Well!

COMPASSIONATE LISTENING

The ART of COMMUNICATING - Full Audiobook

---The FULL AUDIOBOOK

HEARING WITH COMPASSION!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

Thich Nhat Hanh on Compassionate Listening | SuperSoul Sunday | (3 mins)

The Power of Deliberate LIstening | Ronnie Polaneczky | TEDxPhiladelphia

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

This Is The Kind of Listening That I Mean When I Say Be Heard + Be Taken Seriously! And...Don't Judge! I Think That The Hospital As Well As ALL Our Personal Relationships Could Be Positively Affected If We Listened With Compassionate Listening. 

WILL THE ''REAL'' F - word...PLEASE, STAND-UP!

Will The ''REAL''

F-word...Please, Stand Up.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

CHARTER FOR COMPASSION

---From the standpoint of behaviors, it makes sense that I would choose FRUSTRATION as my F-word of choice. I think I have made a case for it, and since we ALL seem to be flirting with being frustrated, it seems a viable choice.

---We, also, have FASCISM, to be part of the mix. If we take it broadly, we can define it as imposing our will on others. My way or the highway, comes to mind. The dictator, itself, could be the idea that things have to be done in a certain way...with some kind of violent repercussion, for those who don't cut it.

---The Catholic religion was taught that way to me...with Hell always hanging in the balance. I could ''earn,'' an eternity in Hell, for the slightest infraction. It was ALL so unreasonable. Fascism fits in here, somewhere. The misunderstanding of Love, has made God, Jesus and the Pope out to be dictators...with NO room for development. [Some of the popes, actually, acted the part, and greatly promoted the idea that God and Jesus were dictators, first. They never actually said that God, etc., were dictators, they just portrayed, taught and, I would say, believed this, themselves.] That is what happens to those who don't really understand LOVE. Everything tends to be FEAR BASED. That is when ALL the rules + policies...come out.

---I, myself, do not see life this way. I had to break my ties with the church to find out who I am...and to see what Jesus, et. al., were talking about, throughout the ages. I found that if one truly finds what LOVE is, himself, then he/she finds that many other interpretations are NOT necessary. BE LOVING, KIND + COMPASSIONATE. It is still the finest thing around.

---The truth, then, is NOT so complicated. In this way, we can see that the way Catholicism was taught to me, makes it to be another Fascism...and makes Fascism another F-word, I have had to deal with. The dictatorship of thought that I had to deal with, has created much of my FRUSTRATION. Eliminating one has eliminated the other. Take Care.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

The Discipline of Finishing: Conor Neill at TEDxUniversidaddeNavarra

WHO WOULD YOU BET ON?

Stop Managing, Start Leading | Hamza Khan | TEDxRyersonU

VERY INTERESTING!

LISTs To DESCRIBE Common Behavior!

LISTs To DESCRIBE Common Behaviors!  CLICK LEFT

---Common ATTITUDEs and EXPRESSIONs THAT BEST DESCRIBEs The BEHAVIORs That We All Have!

CLICK TO ENLARGE

Beautiful minds are free from fear: Robert Grant at TEDxOrangeCoast

I Enjoyed This Talk Very Much!

The new political story that could change everything | George Monbiot

Try Your Own Hand At A Story. What Story Would You Like To Be In Place! Don't Be Afraid To Be Playful + Creative. Write One For Your Eyes Only...If Need Be The Case!

Success is helping others: Michael Davies at TEDxRockyViewSchoolsED

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

What Is A Growth Mindset and How To Develop It

REMEMBER the VIDEO's of CAROL DWECK

Undercover Boss Canada S04E09 Sunnybrook Hospital

THE UNDERCOVER BOSS SERIES HAD MANY TIPs ON RESTRUCTURING A HOSPITAL

Millennials in Medicine: Doctors of the Future | Daniel Wozniczka | TEDx...

MILLENNIALs IN MEDICINE. The FUTURE of HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALs. THOSE WHO STILL WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD!

Is Meditation The New Brain Food? | Drs. Gary Small & Daniel Amen on Lar...

1 Minute 6 Seconds

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

MISS COLORADO - ''JUST A NURSE!''

''JUST A NURSE!''

KINDNESS: PATIENT and CAREGIVER!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

SARAH - EDEN ALTERNATIVE

SARAH's 48 SECOND STORY HITs THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!

PROFESSIONAL ETIQUETTE AMONG CERTIFIED NURSING AIDEs!

Professional Etiquette fr Certified Nursing Aides - click!

To anyone who is the face of feeling better as we patients are recovering, we appreciate what you do and who you are. Believe it or not, but the relationship that we have with you can make or break our experience at the facility, itself. The level of kindness that we feel in your charge impacts the very fabric of our stay in that place. When the relationship is good then that's great! When the relationship is NOT so good, it can go so far as to extend our recovery time.

We APPRECIATE YOU!

PATIENTs REFLECT STAFF!

CLICK TO ENLARGE

OPRAH WINFREY TALKs ABOUT LIFE COACHING

OPRAH WINFREY TALKS ABOUT LIFE COACHING

If you've never worked with a professional coach before, you might think their job is to hand you all the answers to your life's problems. In reality, a coach is there to guide you toward your own solutions, and hold you accountable for taking action.

One important way coaches achieve this is by learning how to ask their clients the right questions. These provocative queries may force someone to look at their situation from another perspective, thereby encouraging the breakthrough they need to succeed.

According to 16 Forbes Coaches Council members, here are the most powerful questions they ask their clients.

16 QUESTIONs TO HELP YOUR CLARIFY YOUR NEXT STEP IN LIFE - CLICK

A BEAUTIFUL STORY

WORTHWHILE VIEWING:

This Is NOT An Original Story...I Just Remade It -

ENJOY!

Lucky Dog - Answering the Call of Duty

I did a piece on Brandon McMillan in September, 2017. There is, also, a piece from July, 2017 that contains the interview he gave on ''The Ellen DeGeneres Show.'' He continues to astound me after all this time.

WHAT IS MEANT!

''We ALL Love One Another; We're Just Working Out The Details''

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---What do I mean when I say this? As a matter of fact I tell folks that this is my personal philosophy. It seems that it isn't as obvious to others as I thought.

---We must break it down a bit, first. We ALL love one another. That in itself seems ludicrous. I can give a list of people that I don't love...or CAN I? Let's go into this slowly. People usually give me a quick list of different world leaders who were the cause of much suffering, death + destruction. How can I possibly love them. They can be outraged at me for even suggesting that.

---I have to break it down a bit further. LOVE is treated as a FACT; NOT a FEELING! LOVE exists whether we feel it or not. Whether anyone feels it or not. LOVE is always present...potentially. To test this, be truly loving and kind in a situation and watch people respond to that. Or, when there is a cut or broken bone and it's allowed to heal after being set properly, it will. Doesn't the way we feel about how folks generally BEHAVE govern how we feel about the people themselves. We'd feel differently if instead of doing things that promote suffering, death and destruction...people fed all the folks that are hungry AND helped people get things they need while footing the bill in most cases. If folks behaved in a way that spread kindness and happiness, we would think very differently about things.  Well, that really is potentially there all-the-time! We just have to act on it.

---Unfortunately, most people BEHAVE in a way that reflects their ATTITUDE and hence, their VALUES - which then tend toward being self-oriented and greedy. People who act this way tend to be fearful of NOT having enough for themselves - hence are self-oriented and greedy. If they were able to see beyond their fears, they would see that having values of being kind to one another and brother + sister helping each other, because we are all in this together...gets more done and hence provides enough for all. Those crying out, ''what about me?'' haven't learned to be team players...yet! BUT, THEY CAN!

---A big problem that I see is this; folks for the most part are waiting to be loved and are not loving. They may think that they are, but self-concern and greed with saving face, runs the show. They are, usually, busy TRYING to get what they think their needs + preferences are, met. But, their method really is, usually self-concern and greed. This is ALL based on FEAR!

PEOPLE TEND TO USE A BACKWARDS APPROACH (THAT DOESN'T WORK):

---Because of this backwards approach (if you will,) folks end up waiting to be loved instead of being loving. And, when they do something loving or kind, they have some type of self-concern tied to it. I see this as being the real problem...but, that is, then, hence its solution.

---We must be TRULY loving for this process to work. If we wait around to be loved, FIRST and are NOT being loving – we then have the process backwards. If we wait to feel love first, we just MAY wait forever (a long, long time.) You will wait as long as it takes for you to learn that it works the other way. AND...THAT IS WHAT MOST OF US ARE DOING!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---''To FEEL LOVE, YOU MUST BE LOVING.'' The other way doesn't work. It is like waiting to be perfect before you act. It is one thing to get your act together, but waiting to be perfect FIRST will not work. Too many semantics and interpretations to concern yourself with before you can declare that that has indeed happened AND you are now perfect. (Ask your mother, wife or sister to weigh-in on the subject...if you are getting too full of yourself.) Husbands, in general, if smart...won't answer that or just will not truthfully know what you're talking about.

---The second half of that statement - working out the details...comes into play in the fact that many, many have still got it BACKWARDs and COMPLAIN  so much and so loudly and wonder why it doesn't work? Some folks have a lot invested in its being the other (wrong) way AND they belligerently insist that it does indeed work the other (wrong) way...even when they may NOT realize what it is that they are really doing. 

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---Folks go to war over the fact that they have this backwards...instead of simply realizing that they must love first. Many relationships go sour, because of faulty logic. A lot of time is spent on trying to see eye-to-eye before love is even considered. Then the next thing you know it becomes an eye-for-an-eye! That, once again is CONDITIONAL LOVE and NOT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Instead of being loving...you love only those that see things as you do. The DETAILS are KILLING US in this way.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

Love has to be treated as a FACT...NOT JUST A FEELING. Act accordingly. 

Be Well.

The saying now changes to:
''We ALL Love One Another; we are simply + gently working out the details''

ARE ALPHA MALEs MORE ATTRACTIVE?

ARE ALPHA MALEs MORE ATTRACTIVE? - (CLICK)

This is NOT a 'YES or NO' QUESTION!

---I was very intrigued by statements made by our friend Nicole Emma in her TEDtalk about males. It is posted below if one wants to listen to it again.

How to escape education's death valley | Sir Ken Robinson

Here is a TEDtalk that I posted six years ago. I hope that you enjoy the revisit as much as I did.

HAPPY EASTER!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

ATTITUDE THERAPY -

ATTITUDE THERAPY -
(Originally from 2007)

---When we have the right attitude, we can do almost anything. When our attitude is right, there is very little that can stop us. When our attitude is wrong for the situation we are in, getting out safely becomes something we are not sure of.

---There are so many words that we have to define our ''attitudes.'' We can be happy, sad, confident, needy, etc.. Our feelings to what we are relating to, denote the attitude we have towards it. Our attitudes cross all of Human Emotion.

---When we are comfortable with what we are relating to, we are more relaxed. The opposite is also true - If we are NOT comfortable with what we relate to, we are nervous, more stressed, tense, whathaveyou. This is reflected in our BP, also.

---When we have an OBJECTIVE Attitude and
Outlook, we seem to do better. We see things as they are as opposed to putting our own SUBJECTIVE spin on things. What we want to do is to’’see’’ the Needs and Preferences that have us make the choices we do.

---I would suggest that you look at a list you make of ''Needs and Preferences,'' and see which are real and separate out the ones you only ‘’think’’ you need. With this list, it should be clear to you where you stand and why you have the ATTITUDES you do. There is a good chance you will remember – How they became part of your personal inventory. By listing ones ''Needs and Preferences,'' we are listing the very things we consider important for our survival. We will then see the attitudes, we have come up with, to get our ‘’NEEDs and PREFERENCEs,’’ met. They can be surprisingly creative, if you find that you been very honest. Be Well.

.

Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated.

Jim Carrey Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS | One of the Best Motivational...

GREAT!

OCCUPY THYSELF - OCCUPY THE SELF!

Occupy Thyself

(Most of this article was written in 2011.)

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---A natural offshoot of the Occupy movement seems to eventually be that we learn to occupy the self. Through the occupy movement as it now stands, we see a movement toward the occupiers themselves becoming more aware of their own needs and preferences. Each citizen is discovering who he is…and THAT is very valuable.

---Though there will be some who only scratch the surface of who they really are…and STOP! There will be others who will glimpse what is contained within. They will find the greatness that is in there…and be changed by it all.

What is GLIMPSED?

GLIMPSED – To be UNDERSTOOD in the twinkling of an eye.

---We understand that WELLNESS is a fact that there exists an energy that we ALL have access to…THAT MAKES US WELL.  Those who have the eyes and ears to see it…they will understand that this IS the LIFE Force or LOVE Energy, The CHI, The PRANA, The VIRIDITAS…that we speak of. Within everyone exists a situation that heals mind, body and/or spirit. When we have a wound or cut –  we know that it will heal – that's ALL we really need to know. Everyone has access to it, because - WELLNESS is within us ALL.

---The reason we are NOT immediately healed all-the-time is because we don't allow the healing to take place. We interfere with the healing from happening. Many times we are NOT even aware of what we are suppose to allow. Many times we are not even aware that there is a healing going on. There is much confusion (in American Society as to how to act in these situations.) We unwittingly interfere with it. It is the same as picking at a cut not knowing we shouldn't do this, and in the process, NOT allowing it to heal. We interfere with it being healed. But, if we learned to allow it to happen in every case we would have a completely different quality of life. AND - the kicker is - One finds that he interferes much, more often than he is aware.

I HOPE THAT THIS MAKE SENSE TO YOU AS THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!

They will realize that they have stumbled upon their true home and as quick as you know…they will move in.

---They will recognize that all is contained within and it is preferable to stay there. You are able to negotiate a way to bring your home with you wherever you go. You can live your life from an optimal spot and real living has transformed itself as being your life. CONGRATULATIONS!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

LAGUNA HONDA HOSPITAL and REHABILITATION CENTER ANNUAL REPORT

Annual_Report_2015-16.pdf

HERE IS THE LATEST I COULD FIND

Mars brain, Venus brain: John Gray at TEDxBend

Here is a TEDtalk I think you'll enjoy!

Earl Nightingale - It is all about Attitude

ATTITUDE - EARL NIGHTINGALE

A VERY IMPORTANT SPEECH from

my PERSPECTIVE!

The ''PROVERB''

He Who Knows Not, and Knows Not He Knows Not,
He Is a Fool...Help Him

He Who Knows Not and Knows He Knows Not,
He Is Simple...Teach Him

He Who Knows and Knows Not He Knows,
He Is Asleep...Wake Him

He Who Knows and Knows He Knows,
He Is Wise...Follow Him


---Here is POEM that I heard Neal Donald Walsh referring to on Wisdom-TV...in the 1990's. He mentioned how the people that caused the ''most damage'' were people who think they KNOW but DON'T.
.
---He also mentioned that the truly wise follow the ''Light'' within their own Self and encourages others to do the same. Nobody has a corner-on-the-market and the Kingdom of LOVE is Within us ALL. This is a FACT. It is always A FACT, whether our ''FEELINGS'' reflect this, or NOT. I really enjoyed this proverb.

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE - Slide Show

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE - Slide Show

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

TONY ROBBINs - 6 Core Human Needs.pdf

(CLICK)

6 Core Human Needs.pdf