CAROL DWECK - INSIDE QUESTIONs

CAROL DWECK - ANSWERs QUESTIONs

(21 minutes)

MINDSET MATTERs ~ You DON'T See Unmotivated Babies!

CAROL DWECK ~ MINDSET MATTERs

MINDSET MATTERs (Click)
DEVELOPING A GROWTH MINDSET!

10 best ideas MINDSET CAROL DWECK

I really like the work that Carol Dweck is doing,

CAROL DWECK: TEACHING A GROWTH MINDSET!

---FIXED MINDSET vs. GROWTH MINDSET. Where do you see yourself or others in terms of this?

HOW TO WIN FRIENDs and INFLUENCE PEOPLE

---Here is one of the best 9 mins reviews of 'The DALE CARNEGIE' book I've heard. It speaks volumes. A must see!

HOW TO WIN FRIENDs...DALE CARNEGIE

10 Tips (above)

HOW TO WIN FRIENDs and INFLUENCE PEOPLE (PRINCIPLEs)

BECOME A FRIENDLIER PERSON

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.

5. Smile.

6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the most important sound in any language.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

8. Talk in terms of the other person's interest.

9. Make the other person feel important - and do so sincerely.

10 The only way to get the best of an argument is to

 avoid it.

WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

11. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

13. Begin in a friendly way.

14. Get the other person saying, "Yes, yes" immediately.

15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

17. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

18. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

19. Appeal to the nobler motives.

20. Dramatize your ideas.

BE A LEADER

21. Throw down a challenge.

22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

26. Let the other person save face.

27. Praise the slightest and every improvement. Be "lavish in your praise."

28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. 

HOW TO ''NOT'' WIN FRIENDs and INFLUENCE PEOPLE by ''NOT'' DALE CARNEGIE!

---HOW TO ''NOT'' WIN FRIENDs and INFLUENCE PEOPLE by ''NOT'' DALE CARNEGIE!

---I wonder if anyone recognizes the behavior of themselves or anyone they know in this video?

7 LESSONs 134 BOOKS!

---7 Lessons from 134 books.

ROY REMER - FORMER ZEN VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR at LHH!

---Trying to cultivate a new + friendlier relationship with death than now exists!

The INNER CRITIC!

The INNER CRITIC:

CLICK PICTURE

---We all have that little voice inside that encourages or discourages the things that we do. In its’ raw form we are usually discouraged from doing things and told how foolish we are for even considering doing that. Many times we are discouraged and see NO value in pursuing practically anything, because 1] we will probably fail along the way, 2] we are probably undertaking this venture for the wrong reasons or 3] where is it going to get us anyway?

---We can end up doing little of anything, because BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY - NO sense looking silly. If everything was a guaranteed success there would be no problem and we could laud it over the whole world showing how good we are. But, if we fail, we may look foolish in the eyes of the very people we have fooled or think we have fooled. We have our ever so precious reputation to think of so, it is easier to chalk things up to what’s the use? Nothing ventured, Nothing gained…but, nothing lost so, I can get back to my quiet desperation and indignation. I can now sit and enjoy the million and a half excuses I will make concerning why I will NOT pursue this. 

---This is what the inner critic does. Your job is to have an idea of something that you’d like to do or would be a good idea to do AND the inner critic gets the fire wood, the kindling, lights the match and basically has you sit in a paralyzed state listening to hundreds or thousand of reasons and excuses why you should NEVER pursue this. If you allow him to feed this fire over and over…he will probably tell you that moving from this spot is NOT A GOOD IDEA, EITHER!

---Many people had parents that feel that GOOD PARENTING is about criticizing the child into seeing the errors of his way in hopes that he shapes up and acts in a way that the parent is more approving of. Please listen to the talks provided and be free of this negativity. Be Well!

Making friends with Your Inner Critic:

Your Inner Critic is a BIG JERK!

STEPHEN HAWKING - DISABILITY QUOTE gif

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

HER OWN WORDS - DR. GRACE DAMMANN (TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY)

DR. GRACE DAMMANN

My Former Doctor

Dr. GRACE DAMMANN

Dr. Victoria Sweet (VS), 
Dr. Grace Dammann (GD)
Hildegard of Bingen (HB)…
A Cut or Wound
A Life Lesson

TRAILER

---We saw the documentary film - ‘’States of Grace,’’ after the 150 year anniversary of LHH celebration. There were some city dignitaries present and a full day of different events. This is my ‘take away’ from the event. Admittedly…these ingredients have been with me for awhile, but they hadn’t gelled as they did earlier this morning.

---In her book, ‘God’s Hotel,‘ Dr. Victoria Sweet told us about Hildegard of Bingen. She introduced the viriditas, which I had been well aware of, but by different names. The God Force, the Chi, The Divine, etc. She speaks of a Terry Becker, (not real name,) who healed when everything that opposes the healing were removed. It is much the same reason that a cut or wound heals if allowed. That is the way that our universe is set up.

---Dr. Grace was in a horrific car accident. She spent 48 days in a coma and had 13 operations to make her functional enough to get around in a power wheelchair, like myself, and other changes she has learned to live with to resume some sort of normal life for her. After enduring all she has endured, she is doing much better than expected. She was literally at death’s door, but is now doing, for all intents and purposes, quite well! She spends much of her time doing those things she loves to do (helping others) and this pays huge dividends in the feeling good department.

---The ‘Life Lesson,’ that I speak of is this. The viriditas is much the same as it always has been since time began. HB just noticed its’ existence. So did many others in many ways over the years. That is the reason that things heal if you let them. You make sure that all parts of the bone are in the right order…and they heal the way you set them. That is the reason that one who puts things in order must know what he is doing. If set correctly or not, things will heal as you set (allow) them.

---There is, also, an order to thought that produces clarity. I refer to this when I speak of The PANE CLINIC (aware of spelling difference.) This, also, affects the way we HEAL MENTALLY or PSYCHOLOGICALLY. We clear up the errors in thought that interfere with a healing from taking place. For example: we can’t expect a person to be thinking well...if he, himself, carries the idea that he is unworthy of human contact. You can easily see how this vision would interfere with a good solid vision of mankind. If a being carries any strong ideas that are negative to life, these ideas are very able to get in the way of having a good, solid, stable vision. 

---Seeing the film, it is very obvious that Dr. Grace has a bigger than many support team. She has many people on her side. The size of the team was something that she has cultivated over many years. She is a very warm person who is nice to know. It still is quality over quantity NO matter how one crunches the numbers. We are each others support team. How we relate in most circumstances will reflect those who stand beside you when the chips are down. The Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule will weigh heavily in this.

---When the necessary structure that is (GD,) were in the right order, they healed as we see her today. From a cut, a wound, a broken bone, to a shattered self, to Planet Earth…the healing power (viriditas) is at work. This is the way our universe is set up. This is way it works!

This is a DRAFT (Subject to Change!)

I have yet to get the complete documentary. There are many copyright issues behind it.

Both...Dr. Grace Dammann and Dr. Victoria Sweet have been my doctor.

Dr. Grace Dammann - My Former Doctor

Dr. Grace Dammann

---We saw the film about the head on collision that Dr. Grace had in May, 2008. She had been my doctor at the time. It was a very strange time and was touch and go for a while not knowing if she would actually survive. The film was a documentary with Q+A and photo-op afterwards.

---The above interview was a very uplifting piece after seeing her long recovery in the documentary. I’ll bet that over time the experience will bring forth even more fruit. We get to see more of her lighter side above. I will try to post the documentary.

''INNER TOUGHNESS'' - SHORTER VERSION

CLICK PICTURE

DR. WAYNE DYER: ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING...

.

DR. WAYNE DYER

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING,

SO PICK A GOOD ONE!

TEXT: FINDING YOUR GREATNESS WITHIN!

FIND YOUR
GREATNESS

---To find your greatness you have to start by accepting yourself JUST AS YOU ARE. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re the worst person imaginable, with so-called faults, flaws and foibles…you must ACCEPT yourself JUST AS YOU ARE. Even if for now we are just saying that…we can get started.

---We have to unlearn all the negative stuff that interferes with our enjoyment of life and living. Things are set up in a way that if a cut or contusion happens it will eventually heal (if NOT messed with in a way that interferes with the healing.) Our own UNLEARNING comes in the way of STOPPING the things that we do that get in the way of the healing. We have to UNLEARN those things we have LEARNED that interfere with our enjoyment (healing.) With the example of cuts, scrapes, bruises or contusions we have to learn not to repeat or UNLEARN the process that caused the cut (or whatever trauma it might be) in the first place. With ALL that being done…WE HEAL and experience all the joys that go along with it.

---This is the nature of the layer that we live in everyday. It is the same layer that can cover (mask) all the good stuff. The layer is the stuff we are use to. Most things happen here, (the good and bad,) because we relate to things from this angle. The greatness within has been blocked by this layer of ‘normal living,‘ that we do. We are blocked from these wonderful things through our negative response(s) to usual things. Over the years, these wonderful things have been called many things. Some of its’ names have been your Buddha Nature, the Christ Within, the Kingdom Within, taking your own responsibility, Your Beatific Self, the Divine, Krishna consciousness, the Chi, the Viriditas, the God, the Force, the LOVE. It really is a way of seeing things in a more alive manner. Things are not as dull and lifeless, anymore. The sparkle is now there all due to the fact that YOU have changed within.

CLICK PICTURE

---We don’t have a direct connection with these things, because we have learned so many ways to keep ourselves removed from THEM. As soon as we’re born, we learn ways to deal with a life that makes these wonderful things the ideal and our usual existence a step down from this realm. Many spend much time in this layer…justifying it, etc., and in the process keep the illusion going. Unfortunately…we DO a pretty good job in keeping ourselves from the good stuff. We have even counterfeited it and call it by names that are really reserved for the good stuff. The REAL GOOD STUFF! Most of what we relate to in our usual life is just a bastardized version of what is really good.

CLICK PICTURE

---Being more vulnerable will get you there. Learning NOT to save face will work. Being more honest. Facing your embarrassments will get you there. There are many traps of the EGO that keep one from experiencing how good things can be. There are many naysayers to this approach, but truly if you face just one thing that embarrasses you; EVENTUALLY…probably not right away because old habits tend to be stubborn and stick around, but EVENTUALLY you will see the benefit of seeing and approaching things this way. This will NOT be a quick fix, if that is what you're looking for. When one finds himself in tune with the process...one will see and experience the benefits. How soon it happens will depend on how convinced and committed to its' value one is. But, when one is, it can be a continuous wave that is forever unfolding. Be Well!

This is a draft! Changes may occur.

TEDlike GIF - ''YOUR GREATNESS WITHIN''

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

10 WAYs

10 WAYS TO MAKE FOLKS FEEL GOOD


1. Say Hi and use people's name. Use a nickname if it will work.

2. Ask someone to teach you something.

3. Compliment someone. Even if you don't like someone too much there must be something you can say.

4. Listen and repeat back a little what they say. It shows you are listening. We are quick to give our opinion instead of just listening to what a person may say. Learn NOT to immediately jump in with your opinion. Just listen.

5. Understand what someone says. Put yourself in their position. Learn to really commiserate. People like it when someone 'gets' them.

6. Sometime a smile puts someone more at ease.

7. Remember their spouses name or hobby that they may have. It makes people feel special.

8. Help people if they need it.

9. Greet people like you are really glad to see them.

10. Make an effort to redirect negative energy to positive.

FOURTH + FINAL INSTALLMENT: 38 LIFE LESSONs

zen habits : breathe
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years
POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

FINAL INSTALLMENT!

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

30. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow as if by alchemy. Live on little, don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

31. All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines, Internet) has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. Hint: the corporations exert influence over all of our information sources. Another hint: read Chomsky.

32. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information. We must try to understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, start with the assumption that what others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better if you learn this art.

33. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks as if they were widget machines. Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.

34. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it right. Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up too much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show them life is fun, and stay out of the way of them becoming the amazing people they’re going to become. That they already are.

35. Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.

36. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

37. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s happening. Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

38. I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all.

''SO SIMPLE, YET SO RADICAL!''

CLICK PICTURE

HOSPITAL NOISE

CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT THAT HEALs

---A seven page study on the noise at a hospital. I think that reading it without my input would be beneficial. I have spent a great deal of time in a hospital.  My opinion may easily reflect that held by Florence Nightingale.

ART WITH ELDERs - MARK C.

CLICK PICTURE

3 of 4 INSTALLMENTs!

zen habits : breathe
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years
POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.

THIRD INSTALLMENT

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live in the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk, and your head gets clear.

21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.

22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act. Too often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.

23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our society is geared toward competition — rip each other’s throats out, survival of the fittest, yada yada. But humans are meant to work together for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources and allows everyone to contribute what they can. It requires a whole other set of people skills to work cooperatively, but it’s well worth the effort.

24. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and everything in between. Be grateful every day.

25. Compassion for other living things is more important than pleasure. Many people scoff at vegetarianism because they love the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suffering of other living, feeling beings. You can be perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely unnecessary. Compassion is a much more fulfilling way to live than closing your eyes to suffering.

26. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up meat, but by doing it slowly, I never missed it. I thought I could never give up junk food like sweets, fried crap, nachos, all kinds of unhealthy things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh berries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing how much our taste buds can change.

27. Create. The world is full of distractions, but very few are as important as creating. In my job as a writer, there is nothing that comes close to being as crucial as creating. In my life, creating is one of the few things that has given me meaning. When it’s time to work, clear away all else and create.

28. Get some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the larger picture, this one problem means almost nothing. This fight we’re having with someone else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, and move on.

29. Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play.

2/4 INSTALLMENTS

zen habits : breathe
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years
POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

SECOND INSTALLMENT!

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. In this digital age, you never know what might slip into public view.

11. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to inspire them with your actions. People who think they can use behavioral “science” or management techniques have not spent enough time on the receiving end of either.

12. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.

13. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying to do everything, experience all the essential things, not miss out on anything important … that we forget the simple fact that we cannot experience everything. That physical reality dictates we’ll miss most things. We can’t read all the good books, watch all the good films, go to all the best cities in the world, try all the best restaurants, meet all the great people. But the secret is: life is better when we don’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you experience, and life turns out to be wonderful.

14. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.

15. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

16. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forget to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs. In fitness, you see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned out because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles and joints recover. People who try to do too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress.

17. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, or a good friend. All are free.

18. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, a learning process, something that happens in little bits over a long period. I’ve been getting fit for five years now, and I still have more to learn and do. But the progress I’ve made has been amazing, and it’s been a great journey.

19. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great things along the way. If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination.

The ART OF LOVING by ERICH FROMM (CHALLENGE)

AUDIO BOOK

The ART OF LOVING by ERICH FROMM.pdf

---I read this book soon after my own experience in October, 1976. It confirmed much for me! Listen for 5 minutes and try NOT to get hooked.

38 LIFE LESSONs: 1/4 INSTALLMENTs

zen habits : breathe
38 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 38 Years
POST WRITTEN BY LEO BABAUTA.

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

1. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it — your relationship suffers for no good benefit.

2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They add no value to your life, and cost you everything. Not just the money required to buy them, but the time and money spent shopping for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, insuring them, fixing them, etc.

3. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

4. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without them for a week. Turns out, you can do amazing things without goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some of the bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals, and you’re freer to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen without them.

5. The moment is all there is. All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. In this way, any activity can be meditation.

6. When your child asks for your attention, always grant it. Give your child your full attention, and instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.

7. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student debt, home debt, personal loans, auto loans. We think they’re necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than they’re worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than we get. Spend less than you earn, go without until you have the money.

8. I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that. I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

9. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If it’s good, people will spread the word for you. All other kind of marketing is disingenuous.

There will be FOUR INSTALLMENTs total!

WINNERs/LOSERs FINAL INSTALLMENT!

23 Winners think about possibilities. Losers focus on obstacles that will stop them from achieving.

24 Winners are certain. Losers doubt.

25 Winners control their own destiny. Losers leave everything to their fate.

26 Winners give more than they take. Losers take more than they give.

27 Winners think whether the crowd is going in the right direction. If not, he will walk the other direction. Losers follow the crowd.

28 Winners think and lead. Losers refuse to think so they follow.

29 Winners listen. Losers fight for every chance to talk.

30 Winners always find a better way to do things. Losers stick to one way of doing things.

31 Winners spend money in seminars and classes to improve themselves. Losers think that spending money on seminars and classes is a waste of money and they prefer to buy toys that gives them instant gratification.

32 Winners help others to win. Losers refuse to help and think only about their own benefit.

33 Winners find like minded people like themselves that can bring them to greater height. Losers don't.

Here is the Final Installment in the series of three.

FRUSTRATION to WELLNESS via KINDNESS!

FRUSTRATION to WELLNESS
 via KINDNESS!

---We begin by stating the three steps that folks seem to go through during their hospital stay. 1] Frustration Stage, 2] Kindness Stage and 3] The Wellness Stage. The Kindness Stage should, without-a-doubt… be going on continually. This is the ATTITUDE that should run the whole show as we decrease Frustration and hence increase Wellness. 

---We see that FRUSTRATION is a big one in our society and where this begins for most of us. Many of us are frustrated about having an illness that requires us to enter a hospital in the first place. Our lives are being disrupted just on that level. Many are NOT aware what is exactly going to happen with/to us. It is NOT an exact science and nobody can always predict what is going to take place each step of the way. We may NOT have been in a hospital for many years. The whole experience seems to have all the earmarks of a very frightening time. (It does depend on how much one is frightened by the unknown.)

---Normally and sad to say this, but we are generally a frustrated bunch of people who go about our business, frustrating EACH OTHER...intentionally or unintentionally, along the way, in the normal course of events, ANYWAY! Nobody seems to appreciate what we do. We usually have a certain amount of people ready and willing to remind us of how we're NOT living up to our potential. We are frustrated at having NOT found ourselves! We are frustrated at NOT knowing ourselves! Many don't know what their needs and preferences are and really are NOT quite sure what to ask for to really improve our lives. Instead of building up and rejuvenating one another AND realizing that we are TRUTHFULLY all in this together, we strike out at people and things making things worse for wear in the process. Instead of taking personal responsibility, we BLAME OTHERS for our troubles. We DON'T want the hospital stay to increase FRUSTRATION! BUT...for many, it does!. 

---STILL...all is NOT lost.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---We are going to speak about KINDNESS, here. We have to give up control at sometime. This may not be an easy thing for some of us to do. It may have been a long time for some of us to be in that boat. Childhood for some of us. Here we are in a hospital bed all alone with strangers caring for us, and, for the most part relying on kindnesses left and right. Many are NOT comfortable with all of this level of trust. It may be too much, too soon. Folks poking, jabbing and invading different parts of ourselves for sometimes long periods. We hope they are all kind, but we really don’t ‘know until we know.‘ Other than feeling ill…we spend much time wishing and hoping this whole ordeal was over so we can get back to our old familiar lives which are looking even better + better…at this point. Any and every bit of TLC is more than welcome.

---If we are unable to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps from this mess and get to know what to do, we may be still able to get the help that we need when necessary. Through this kindness, many things have been set up and help is usually available. Kindness behooves us to partake in its' harvest. If we are overwhelmed by all this...there are many opportunities to find some direction for help and relief in someway that may be more to our liking. 

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---VERY IMPORTANT: Truthfully, the more kindly we approach this...the better it is. Kindness benefits the GIVER and RECEIVER! If you find you’re ‘on the fence,’ KINDNESS IS, ALSO, A PLUS TO THE SEEKER. BEING UNPLEASANT + DEMANDING is NOT a good place to begin. Don't test the kindness of your care partner. He/she is human, also. This is NOT a contest. Don't make it one. We must start taking stock in what we are and what we do. We have to regain who we are. WE HAVE TO BE KIND, OURSELVES. BECAUSE…IT WORKs BETTER WHEN WE ARE!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---Most folks are stuck with the idea of trying to find a reason to be kind to someone else, or at least certain others. It has to be realized that we have to BE KIND. It is the same dynamic where ’’to have a friend, be a friend.’’ And, the reason is - because it ALL WORKS BETTER THAT WAY. That is the reason. That WILL benefit you, yours and others and EVERYONE!  KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS! Kindness, also, leads others to kindness and we have more folks being kind than the original number that we started with. Being kind allows the healing to take place as spoken about above. Conveying an attitude of kindness is easier to work in and much, more therapeutic. Responding kindly to people and things keeps everything light. We don't set up a resistance, NO intense, tenseness that says, ''the truth is that we dislike to even go there.'' In a more friendly environment that is more quick to accept...we find that people don't tend to be as defensive.

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---KINDNESS...however, has taken it on the chin in the last several years. Instead of being kind to one another, we seem to have replaced that with looking out for NUMBER ONE – NUMERO UNO...at the expense of another, in many cases . Generally…we aren't very concerned with the well-being of another, unless, it directly affects how we think we're doing. 

---We have become very suspicious of one another and downright afraid at times. If we increase the knowledge of ourselves we will then increase our awareness. This increase in awareness will translate in being more assured if/when someone is being truthful with us and whether they are being honest or not. We are able to make better decisions and are better equipped to then again live life...and we are more aware to boot. Complacency is unable to come home to roost. Instead, we have a deeper level of kindness and understanding than we did before. The innocence that we seasoned our kindness with at onetime seems to be disappearing. Wariness has replaced it. Maybe we should temper our kindness with a bit more honesty, understanding and intelligence and allow it to strengthen and deepen...naturally.

---Then...we have WELLNESS. To briefly recap, I mentioned that a cut or a wound will heal if it is allowed. If we are KIND to it and stop scratching, Poison Ivy will heal if we let it. That seems the natural path that all living things take as far as we are concerned. Of course we can interfere with this process (be UNKIND to it by scratching) and postpone the healing process almost indefinitely. But, for all intents and purposes – if we are KIND to the healing process, it takes place. OUR UNIVERSE IS SET UP THAT WAY. 

---But we must always remember this - if we inflict permanent damage on something, the object will maybe heal with whatever scars we may have done to the original piece. Healing is accepting things as they are and go from there. It doesn't NECESSARILY start where we want and undo all the ruination that we may have brought to it. On a physical level, it may NOT be what we imagine the healing to be. Let us ALL stop this madness and...Be Kind. With KINDNESS, we will truly…Be Well! Remember: it's from FRUSTRATION to WELLNESS via KINDNESS!

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---A DRAFT!