PLEASURE, PAIN, FEAR

Pleasure, Pain, Fear

  
 ---When I was in my twenties, I used to read a lot of J. Krishnamurti. He would speak of FEAR very much. That is because he saw fear as being the true opposite to LOVE. NOT HATE...but, FEAR. He said that people would experience hatred, because they had some kind of fear for whatever it may be that they hated...AND, it was driving the boat. He, also, believed, as many did, that FEAR dissipated when one understood whatever it was that caused the FEAR. He thought once fear was understood you were well on your way to ''getting'' what life + living were ALL about.
---He spoke of the fact that man tended to seek pleasure and avoid pain...AND that dynamic INCREASES FEAR. Pleasure has an elusive quality to it and is hardly ever the same twice in a row. One seeking pleasure sets himself to easily become addicted to whatever he uses to avoid pain. He becomes desperate in his pursuit of pleasure and avoidance and gets further from facing the original pain. He finds himself on the other side of it, feeling pain, NOW...from those very things that once brought pleasure.

---What is this PAIN that he keeps avoiding? It masks itself and shows it is still there...in any number of ways. BUT...it can be traced as the source of all pain. It is the pain of facing oneself. There are many books that address this – some good, some bad. Why it is so painful is because of the embarrassment involved. TOUGHNESS INCREASES WHEN WE FACE OUR EMBARRASSMENTS.

---To embark on this field we have to admit (and, maybe for the first time) that we are not perfect. I'm not speaking of some religious thing where we are really all perfect...I'm talking about facing the fact that maybe our behavior has ALWAYS NOT been perfect and we caused a lot of mayhem in our quest to find ourselves. We are becoming more tolerant in our judgments (at least some of us) than we had been. BUT...facing ourselves and becoming comfortable with our past is a process that gets better with time.

---It will come down to the ability to NOT save face. We have a very difficult time telling the truth in this area. As I have said before, ''we ALL hate to look bad, even if it is only to our own self.'' Be Well.

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Dr. LISSA RANKIN - SELF-HEALING!

---I am a supporter of the work of Dr. Lissa Rankin. This short YOUTUBE (a little over a minute) may lead you to her other YOUTUBEs...again, at the very least.

The GIFT of IMPERFECTION - Dr. BRENE BROWN

SEE YOURSELF MORE CLEARLY

DO YOU SEE THE REAL YOU?

---On HALLOWEEN morning I got to talking with one of the nurses. I asked why she didn't wear a costume? Her answer was that it takes her TOO long to go through all that. We have always had a pretty good rapport...so I said, ''I can probably shed some light on why it takes you so long.''

---She looked at me with a look that seemed to want to hear more of what I had to say. I said, ''it gets to where you're so busy trying to apply it so perfectly that it becomes a real chore to do. You want it to be so perfect that when folks judge you for wearing it, it actually defies judgment (and...you know of the hurtful judgment, because, it has quietly helped you come undone in the past.'') Then I said, ''that's very common.'' Many, many people suffer from self-consciousness.

---It is saving face and we are never being spontaneous enough to do what we really want. We are afraid to appear wrong and foolish...and struggle to withstand the judgment of others. We may be exposed and found out where others see/know how wrong we actually may be. (And, their response will reveal that...NO matter how silent or loud it is.) WE HATE TO APPEAR WRONG! We have intertwined being even a little wrong with our TOTAL self worth - somehow.

---Until we loosen up and realize that it is alright to be wrong,   sometimes, and to be ourselves, always...we ALL seem to go through this struggle – TO FIND OURSELVES or TO BE OURSELVES. It really is okay to be silly and to be wrong...but, we protect these very diligently. But...if the truth be told at those times that our defenses aren't as strong as usual... we, probably, liked it. We may have really liked it. You may have had an experience near the one I describe, drugging and drinking...BUT, then have the drug and drink with which to deal. Don't take yourself so seriously AND you'll do yourselves a tremendous favor. Take it from one who has been there. There is quite a difference from NOT BEING YOURSELF and BEING YOURSELF.

---Our normal look is just one of the many that we could be wearing...at this very moment! Granted...it may be the one that best expresses who/what we are at the present time given our present abilities to know and withstand the pressures of the society in which we live. In this light...again, are we being and living at our best? Are we satisfied? Are we happy? Are we living up to our own potential? Remember that if we still blame others for our circumstance...it shows us that we have more learning and growing to do. Be Well!

REMEMBER: This is a draft and may be futzed with a bit.